Soap Oprah

There is no escaping Meghan and Harry – even if you have zero interest in the British royal family

 

Harry and Meghan. Or Meghan and Harry, to give them their correct billing. There really is no escaping them, is it? Even if you have zero interest in the British royal family, there is no way you can have avoided all those clips of the ‘bombshell’ Oprah tell-all that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex conducted last week – or, for that matter, the reams of commentary that followed. 

 

Having devoured it all – there is nothing I love more than a good soap opera, or should that be soap Oprah? – I now feel as if I have been transported back to the 1990s, when Harry’s mother, Princess Diana, was cast in the role that Meghan is now playing. Diana’s ‘explosive’ confessional featured on the BBC’s Panorama show and was conducted by Martin Bashir, a little-known journalist at the time. Harry and Meghan’s inquisition, on the other hand, was at the hands of Oprah Winfrey, who is arguably more famous than both of the ‘royals’ put together. 

 

But if you ignore that minor difference, the parallels come at you fast and furious. Like Princess Diana, Meghan talks about her mental health struggles, admitting that there was a phase – when she was pregnant with Archie – that she actively thought about taking her own life, such was her unhappiness within the royal world in which she felt like a trapped prisoner. Diana had complained famously that she got no support from the royal family when she married into the institution. Meghan lays the same allegation at the doors of what she calls ‘the firm’ – and then throws in the charge of racism, with the shocking admission that a senior member of the royal family had concerns about the colour of the skin of their prospective children.

 

Even the visual cues are meant to evoke memories of Diana. Like the Princess in her Panorama interview, Meghan is wearing black, her eyes are heavily rimmed with kohl, and she speaks with the same soft cadences as Diana did, as she aims missile after missile at the heart of the British royal family. There are tangible, physical reminders of Diana too, sparkling on Meghan’s wrist, where she sports the diamond bracelet that used to belong to her mother-in-law. The message is clear: Diana is part of their story, giving them both inspiration and strength to go forth on their own path.

 

In a strange way, that makes sense. In some ways, Harry and Meghan are living the life that Diana never got to experience. It is all too likely that if the Princess had lived beyond her 36 years – which is, ironically, exactly the age Harry is now – she would have ended up in America, where she was always wildly popular. There was some speculation that she would end up married to an American billionaire and would start a philanthropic career in the States. With the establishment of their Archewell Foundation, Harry and Meghan are starting down that road, though it is lined with multi-million dollar deals with the likes of Netflix and Spotify. 

 

And more importantly, perhaps, even 24 years after her tragic death Princess Diana is still a shining star in the American celebrity firmament. So evoking her name and memory is as good a way as any of sprinkling some stardust on yourself when you are out to establish yourself as A-list figures in the States. 

 

So, what is the problem exactly, you may well ask. Why do Meghan and Harry feel the need to air all their dirty family laundry in front of an audience of millions? After all, they have achieved what they set out to do. They have landed on their feet in California, living in a palatial mansion that cost around 14 million dollars, with commercial deals that ensure that they never have to worry about paying the bills. And judging by the reaction to their Oprah interview, they are much loved by the American people. 

 

And yet, when you watch Meghan and Harry opening their hearts to Oprah, you can’t help but feel that these are not happy people. They seem unable to shake off the grievances that are mooring them in the past, dwelling on the injustices heaped on them by an uncaring monarchy, instead of focusing on the bliss that surely lies in their future. And that, if you ask me, is the real tragedy.

Photo-finish

There really is no respite for celebrities in a world where everyone has a camera-phone at the ready

You have to feel for Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge. Here she is, on holiday in Provence at a secluded chateau (owned by her cousin-in-law Lord Linley) with her husband, Prince William. This is their personal time together before they set off on an official tour of the Far East. So, the couple do what most young people do on holiday. They nap, they eat, they go for walks, they swim, and yes, they sunbathe on their terrace.

C’est normale, as the French would say.

What the royal pair do not know is that a kilometre away from their idyllic retreat is a public road. And that a paparazzo has taken up residence at the bend – from where you can see the chateau at a distance – with the biggest tele-photo lens known to mankind. So, a camera is clicking away as Catherine takes her bikini top off to get an even suntan; as she lowers her bikini bottom for William husband to smear sunscreen on her; and as the husband and wife cuddle each other, as people in love are wont to do when they think they are alone, away from the prying eyes of the public.

The story explodes weeks later, as Catherine and William are touring Singapore and Malaysia, when a French magazine called Closer (the puns just write themselves, don’t they?) publishes a topless picture of the Duchess on the cover, along with several others inside. The headline screams ‘Oh My God’ as readers are exhorted to take a look at Catherine as she has never been seen before – and will never be seen again.

Not surprisingly, William is incandescent with rage at his wife’s privacy being invaded in this manner and releases a statement saying that this brings back memories of the worst paparazzi excesses during his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales’ lifetime (it is no secret that the Prince blames the paparazzi pack for the death of his mother in a Paris tunnel 15 years ago). The couple file criminal charges against the magazine and the photographer in a French court, seeking jail time for those who have violated Catherine’s dignity.

Worse is to follow. Another tabloid, the Irish Daily Star, publishes the same photographs in Ireland with the editor defiantly announcing that Catherine was not going to be their queen, so they were going to treat like any other celebrity (Rihanna and Lady Gaga were the names he picked, even though these ladies have made their careers on the basis of being partially undressed – unlike the Duchess who has always been a model of propriety in her public appearances). And then, the Italian magazine, Chi, came out with a 19-page spread of the Duchess’ topless snaps, with a cover headline that read ‘La Regina e nuda’ (the Queen is nude) which was evocative without being strictly accurate while the story inside speculated on whether Catherine breasts were completely natural.

But what is the justification of publishing these intimate pictures of a woman enjoying some private time with her husband? Well, according to the editor of Closer, Laurence Pieau (who is a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary), she used them to show a young, modern couple in love. There was nothing shocking about the pictures, blustered Pieau – which begged the question: why the breathless ‘Oh My God’ headline, then? Chi editor Alfonso Signorini too insisted that the pictures did not violate Catherine’s dignity even though the magazine headline chortled: Scandalo a corte (Scandal in court).

So far, so hypocritical. But all the bluster about press freedom and the inoffensive nature of the pictures notwithstanding, where does the law stand on paparazzi photos of celebrities? Well, the short answer is that it depends on where you are. In France it is illegal to shot anyone on private property even if you are on public property at the time. But in Italy the law states that you can shoot people on private property so long as you are in a public space at the time.

But whatever the local law, the damage to Catherine’s image is already indisputable. The pictures have already appeared in three print outlets and they have proliferated on the Net. All that the Cambridge litigation may achieve is to prevent any further hounding of the Duchess by paparazzi out to make a quick buck. On the other hand, it may not. There is simply too much money to be made from carrying such intrusive shots (as they joke goes: I am so outraged by these topless photos that violate Catherine’s modesty that I can’t wait to Google them and have a good look). And even if the French court comes down heavily and hands out jail sentences in this case, there is really no respite for celebrities in an era in which everyone has a camera-phone at the ready.

Privacy laws are all very well, but what we really need is responsible media. The British press – which is self-regulated and adheres by a self-imposed code – has behaved impeccably in this respect, whereas media outlets in Europe (where privacy rights are enshrined in law) haven’t exactly covered themselves in glory. But then, what do you expect when two of the titles in question (Closer and Chi) are owned by that old rogue Silvio Berlusconi.

Perhaps in this case, a bit of tat-for-tit revenge may be in order. Maybe some patriotic paparazzo from Britain can take it upon himself to get a few nude shots of the old goat, Silvio himself. I know, it won’t be a pretty sight. But there are times when you just have to open your eyes, fire up the camera, and think of England.