Let me entertain you...

 Some golden rules for when you're having people over

Sometimes the best way to hang out with friends is at home. You have a reasonable expectation of privacy with no nosey wait staff eavesdropping on conversations. No spending hours poring over the menu and then getting served your main courses 10 minutes apart. Also, most importantly, it costs a fraction of the price of eating out. But there are some rules of entertaining at home that you should adhere to if you want your guests to have a great time.

First off, welcome drinks. Please don’t put people on the spot by asking them “What would you like to drink?” the moment they walk through the door. They haven’t had a chance to check out the bar or the drinks cupboard and have no idea what you have to offer. Instead, offer them options. It’s makes more sense to say, “Would you like a glass of red or white or champagne? Or is whiskey or vodka or gin more to your taste?” That way, they know what their options are and can choose accordingly. 

It’s always a good idea to have some canapés on hand because everyone likes to nibble on something while they drink. But keep it light so that your guests don’t fill up too much before dinner. Nuts and chips are a good idea, a cheese platter makes sense, or maybe even a plate of crudities with dips. Any more than that and you risk ruining everyone’s appetites even before dinner is laid on the table. 

Ah dinner! Please, for god’s sake, don’t serve it at midnight. The latest it is acceptable to lay it out is 10 pm when people are still hungry enough to enjoy it. And when you plan your meal make sure that you have made adequate accommodations for the vegetarian guests. Don’t just serve lots of meat, chicken and fish with the token yellow and black dal for vegetarians. Make them at least a couple of main courses that they can enjoy. Remember non-vegetarians can always enjoy vegetarian dishes. But it doesn’t work the other way around. 

When you are introducing people who haven’t met, it’s not enough to tell them each others names and leave them to it. Add a little bit of information and context so that they can make a proper conversation. And by that I don’t mean just saying who he or is married to. Instead say what they do, what their interests are, where they went on holiday recently maybe. That helps facilitate conversations that may otherwise be a bit stilted. 

Don’t let anyone monopolise the guest of honour, if you have one. There are always some pushy people at every party who will make a beeline for the most important person in the room and then refuse to leave him or her alone. And there will also be some shy retiring people who are too modest to push themselves forward. It is your duty as a host to make sure that the pushy ones get moved on after a while and the shy ones get a chance to meet and spend some time with the guest of honour. 

Remember, a party is only fun if everyone is having a good time. And, as the host, it is up to you to ensure that. 

Come, dine with me

If you are feeling stressed about entertaining at home after a long hiatus, here are some tips

 

I am happy to report that I have crossed another milestone in my post-pandemic life. I had friends over for dinner for the first time since Corona upended all our lives. My husband and I had been venturing out to the homes of close friends over the past couple of months. But somehow we hadn’t got around to entertaining at home. Last week, however, we decided it was time to bite the bullet and get some friends over for a home-cooked meal, instead of venturing out to restaurants as we had been doing until now. 

 

And I am so glad that we did. It was such an amazing feeling to sit around the table with friends we had known forever, eating a simple meal – sausages on a bed of peppers, a pasta with tomato sauce, roasted potatoes, and a caprese salad – that I had spent the entire afternoon cooking, sipping on some red wine, and chatting endlessly about topics both sublime and ridiculous. 

 

Laughter rang out all around the house, the pink roses I had bought specially for the occasion permeated the air with their sweet smell, and all felt right with the world again. In fact, it felt so right that I wondered why I had spent so much time agonizing about the evening, worrying about what to cook, what tableware to use, what drinks to serve, and other useless stuff like that. As it turned out, all we needed was some simple food, some full-bodied wine, and the company of one another to have a fabulous time. 

 

In case you too are agonizing about entertaining at home after a hiatus of a couple of years, here are some tips based on my own personal experience.

 

·       A little clutter never hurt anyone. Don’t agonize over getting the house looking pristine just because you are having friends over. There is no need to erase every sign of your presence in the house just because you are entertaining. You can leave your books and magazines strewn about, you don’t have to plump up every cushion, and you certainly don’t need to dust every house plant. This is your home, the place you live in, not a sterile, impersonal hotel room. So, don’t try to make it look like one.

·       If you plan to cook for your friends, spend some time and effort in planning the menu. I always try to make one dish that can be cooked in advance the day before and benefits from overnight refrigeration. If you are making three things on the day of the party, then try and make two things that can be cooked in the afternoon and finished/reheated in the oven or microwave just before dinner is served. Don’t make more than one dish – or, at a pinch, two – a la minute, or you will be too stressed to actually enjoy the evening. And don’t be shy about supplementing your efforts with a couple of store-bought items (salami, sausages, etc.); not everything has to be made from scratch even if you did promise them a home-cooked meal.

·       The secret to hosting a good dinner party is to keep your hosts – and yourselves – well lubricated. If you are feeling nervous about entertaining at home because you feel you have lost the knack of hosting, pour yourself a drink before your guests arrive, and spend 15 minutes just chatting with your other half to calm yourself down. Keep the drinks coming once your guests get there, until everyone is just a tiny bit merry. You can switch to wine with dinner, and slip in some brandy or port with the cheese and dessert. Just make sure that nobody is driving home after, before you begin pouring!

·       And if things do wrong, don’t fret about it. If your souffle doesn’t rise, it’s not a calamity. If the pasta is a bit overcooked, the heavens will not fall. If the meat in the biryani is not perfectly tender; it doesn’t really matter. Your guests are not Michelin inspectors who have come to grade your meal; they are friends who have come to enjoy an evening in your company. The food is not the point; you are. Remember that, and you can’t go wrong.