Feeling hot, hot, hot

And yet there is no getting out of the kitchen…

 

You know how the saying goes. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. There is just one problem with following that piece of advice, as temperatures hover around the mid to high forties in India. We can’t stand the heat; we would love to get out of the kitchen; but we can’t do that because we have a family to feed. 

 

No matter how scorching the day, you still have to rustle up three meals a day for yourself and those in your household. And there is a limit to how much – and how often – you can order in. So, how do you cope?

 

Well, here are some pointers, based entirely on my own experience of keeping everyone fed during the blistering summers of Delhi.

 

1)    Keep actual cooking to a minimum. Instead, rely on fresh vegetables, fruits and herbs that you can turn into scrumptious salads. Not only will this reduce the amount of time you spend by the range, these meals will be both cooling and nutritious for the whole family.

 

2)    I know, I know, getting a salad prepped is no joke. You have to chop and peel endlessly and that can be a sweaty business. But who said that you have to do all this in a hot and humid kitchen? Spread some old newspapers on your dining table, and set up your chopping board in air-conditioned comfort. You can, in fact, do all your food prep here; even if you are making a full meal.

 

 

3)    This is the time when you should get your oven to do all the heavy lifting. Chop up all the vegetables you need, arrange them on a baking tray, throw in some sausages (if you are a meat-eater) or chunks of halloumi cheese (if you are vegetarian), sprinkle with oil, bung them in the oven, set the time to 45 minutes (or an hour) and sit back and relax while your dinner is cooked. This is my go-to dish when it’s simply too hot to slave away on the stove. And it’s delicious, to boot. You can come up with your own variations.

 

4)    The other kitchen aid that I rely upon completely at this time of year is my Insta Pot. This is the best way to cook meat curries, stews, or even dals and subzis. Most days I don’t even bother to fry the onions, garlic, ginger and tomato with the masalas. Instead, I put all the ingredients in, press the button that says ‘Slow Cook’ and then let the Insta Pot work its magic over a couple of hours while I have a shower and then sit back with a nice cooling drink and a good book.

 

5)    Life is too short (not to mention, too hot) to make rotis on summer evenings. When I was young, I remember my mother sending off our dough to the neighbourhood tandoor, and getting hot crisp tandoori rotis back in a matter of minutes. But those days are long gone now. And I can’t really justify ordering in rotis and parathas. So, I compromise by ordering in some interesting breads that I can toast, butter generously, and eat with my subzis and dals. 

 

6)    This is the time to make one-pot meals that require minimal stirring and watching. So, ditch the stir fries and bhuna ghoshts; instead make a khichri with vegetables. Forget about the risottos that need constant attention; restrict yourself to pastas that can be put together in a jiffy.

 

7)    Batch cooking is what will save you endless botheration in the kitchen. If you are making a pasta sauce, make three times the quantity you need, and freeze the extra two portions to use later in the month. Fry up enormous amounts of ginger-garlic paste and keep it in the fridge to use for the rest of the week. Whatever you are cooking – whether it is dal or a Thai curry – you can’t go wrong by making a few extra portions and freezing them to use on a day when cooking seems like too much of a palaver.

 

8)    The best part of summer, of course, is that the heat is the perfect excuse to stuff yourself full of ice-cream. And, thank God, that requires no cooking at all (though you might want to slice a mango to eat alongside!).

 

The heat is on...

There's much to hate about an Indian summer; but it does come with its own compensations

Yes, everyone hates a good summer. Well, at least, in India we do. And anyone who has lived through a summer in this country will know exactly why.

This is that time of year when it's so hot that it is impossible to even cool down with a cold shower. It doesn't matter that your geyser has been turned off for months. The moment you turn the faucet on, boiling water, which has been steadily heating up in the overhead tank, rains down to scald your head and shoulders. And as you emerge, all pink and red like a boiled lobster, you begin to wonder why you even bothered; you are sweaty again in a matter of seconds.

This is the time of year when the sun is so hot that even the tar on the roads melts under its assault; so what chance do we mere mortals stand? This is when tempers fray, when road rage leads to people actually killing each other, sometimes over something as minor as a parking dispute.

Yes, there is a lot to hate about the Indian summer. But funnily enough, that’s not why I detest this season with a deep and abiding passion. The reasons behind my loathing are entirely different.

The thing that really gets me got under the collar (apart from the heat, of course) is having to listen to people endlessly moaning and groaning and whining and whinging about the heat. Because whenever the mercury soars, so do the number of social media posts about HOW HOT it is! Oh my God, it really is HOT!

Well, what did you bloody expect? You are in the middle of an Indian summer. The mercury will hit the 40-degree mark and even go a tad above occasionally. The scorching sun will beat down on your mercilessly. Going outdoors will seem like stepping into an oven. And when the pre-monsoon showers hit, the humidity will add to your woes. But that is how it always was. That's how it is. And that's how it will always be. Deal with it. Or, as the saying goes, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the bloody furnace.

The only people who get a free pass on the complaining front are those who actually do spend time outdoors, doing all the jobs that we would never deign to: the security guards, the traffic cops, the drivers, the scooterwallahs, those running street-side stalls and the like, who roast in the sun all through the day. If they want to moan, they have earned the right to do so, one sunstroke attack at a time. But if you go from an air-conditioned house to an air-conditioned office in your air-conditioned car, then sorry, you really have no business complaining.

The only people who are more annoying than those who gripe ceaselessly about the heat are the once who have travelled to cooler climes to escape the hell that is the Indian summer. No, it's not enough for these people to just enjoy the balmy weather wherever the hell it is that they have decamped to. And they certainly don't have the decency to draw a discreet veil over their lovely little vacations in the Swiss Alps, the French Riviera, or whichever is the trendy summer destination of the moment.

Oh no, that would not do at all. They have to rub their privileged lives in our faces by posting pictures of all the amazing things they are getting up to while we gently roast in India. There they are, skiing down the mountains, drinking champagne at the seaside, or even dining al fresco in scenic locations. It's enough to make your head explode (and not because of the heat, either).

But that's not to say that the season is entirely without its compensations. This is the time of year when the laburnum erupts in all its bright yellow glory, brightening up the streets and bringing a smile to our faces. This is when the king of fruits fills up our shops, so that we can gorge on it to our hearts content. No silly! I'm not talking about the mango. It's the lychee that scores. (Do try and keep up!) Not that I have anything against the mango, it’s nice enough diced up neatly for dessert. Though, I must confess, the only way I can truly enjoy one is to create a tidy little puncture hole on top and suck the juice out slowly but surely. And getting my teeth stuck onto the pulpy core is an added bonus.

This is the time when you can show off your pretty pedicure in strappy sandals, freeing your feet from their months-long bondage in winter boots. This is when you can bring out your cotton saris from hibernation and use their soft waves to shelter your from the blazing sun. This is when you can go back to swimming in the pool, letting the cool water soothe your heat-wrecked body.

Yes, an Indian summer can be hard on those who have to live through it, but it has its compensations. So how about, just for a change, we count our blessings rather than our tabulate our troubles?