Give peace a chance

 That way, you can finally be happy with the world and yourself

They say that true happiness lies within each of us. And it is up to us to access it with our own efforts. So, we shouldn’t depend on other people to make us happy; instead, we should dig deep to access our own happiness. Well, over the years, I have discovered that the same is true of peace. You cannot depend on the people around you to preserve your peace; you have to safeguard it yourself.

And, as I grow older, I find that I treasure peace over happiness. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that peace and happiness have converged into one emotion in my life. I am only truly happy when I am at peace with the world and myself. And I am only truly peaceful when I am happy with the world and myself.

So, my priority these days is to safeguard my peace so that I can be happy (and vice versa). And these are just some of the ways in which I endeavour to do so:

• There is a cartoon I saw a few years ago that left quite an impression on me. A woman wakes up at 3 am to see her husband typing furiously on the computer. What’s wrong, she asks. Nothing’s wrong, he says, it’s just that somebody is being wrong on the Internet…Well, I laughed at that, but it also made me pause and promise myself that I would never be that man ever again. People can be wrong on the Internet for as long as they want. I won’t be logging in to correct them ever. Being peaceful, I have decided, is more important than being correct.

• What’s true of the Internet is true of real life as well. I no longer get into arguments with friends and family about anything from politics to religion to which is the best way to cook a biryani. The way I look at it, anyone else’s opinion on anything is none of my business. They are welcome to look at the world on their own terms; and I will content myself with looking at the world from my own unique perspective. And who is to say that either of us is wrong or right? It's all a matter of perspective, right?

• While conflict avoidance is all well and good, it is also important to excise negative people and negative energies from your life. If you find that a friend is constantly draining your energy with his negativity, then the hard truth is that you would be better off without that person in your life. If a family member is bringing you down with constant criticism and carping, then you would benefit from going no-contact for a while. People pleasing should not come at the cost of your own mental health.

• Last of all, don’t ever forget the power of a simple ‘no’ when it comes to preserving your peace. The day you refuse to let social pressure force you into saying yes when you mean no, is the day that you finally attain peace. And, as I have discovered, with true peace comes true happiness. 

Happy New Year!

Here’s my wish list for what I would like in 2015

Yes, I know, it is customary to make Christmas wishes and New Year resolutions. But this year, I am going to go all contrary on you and compile a wish list for New Year rather than yet another dreary set of resolutions (that are broken within a month of being made, anyway). So, if you would indulge me just this once, here’s what I would like for 2015.

• The certainty that every child who sets off to school in his or her freshly-laundered uniform, satchel carelessly slung on the shoulder, gets to come back home alive, disheveled and dirty, covered with the mud of the schoolyard – not doused in his or her own blood or indeed, the blood of classmates butchered before his or her shocked eyes.
• The guarantee that every religion gets a place in the sun in our great country. That everyone – Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Sikh, Buddhist, Jain, Parsi – is allowed to celebrate their festivals without the government muscling in to hijack their day for its own agenda. And that, in keeping with our secular ethos, we take the same pleasure and joy in celebrating each other’s festivals that we do in celebrating our own.
• That women finally get what has always been their right: safety in public places. That they can walk the streets without being jostled and jeered at. That they ride in buses, metros and trains without being groped. That they can drink in pubs without being leered at or propositioned. That they can take a taxi back home and fall asleep in the back seat, secure in the knowledge that they will not be molested, robbed or raped by the driver. (If you would like this too, then check out a movement called Why Loiter, and do your own bit to make our cities safer for women.)
• That the assorted Sadhus and Sadhvis who litter our political landscape realize that they can only use these honorifics if they actually undertake ‘sadhana’. And that is only possible if they renounce the material world and retreat to the realm of spirituality instead. (If that’s asking for too much, I would quite happily settle for some of them just going on a ‘maun vrat’ for the next five years or so.)
• That religious conversions – no matter which faith is being renounced or embraced – are recognized and respected for what they should be: a genuine change of heart that leads to a change of religion. And that assorted religious bodies – be they Hindu, Muslim or Christian – stop trying to shore up their numbers by resorting to bribes, inducements, money, special favours, or simply, brute force and blackmail.
• That we finally call a spade a bloody shovel. Anyone who kills innocents for a political cause is a terrorist, no matter what religion he takes his inspiration from. So, the men who terrorized the city of Mumbai on 26/11 are not ‘gunmen’; they are terrorists. The men who massacred 132 schoolchildren in Peshawar are not ‘Taliban’ (which, rather ironically, translates as students); they are terrorists. The Bodo group which went on a rampage in Assam and killed 78 people are not ‘militants’; they are terrorists. Let’s not mince our words when it comes to violence on innocents.
• The realization that we cannot achieve a clean India – a Swachch Bharat – by just posing with a broom in streets strewn with specially-procured dirt, while the TV cameras zoom in for a close-up. Sanitation and hygiene are incredibly complex issues. We need to discuss not just how to collect the dirt but also how to dispose of it in an environmentally-friendly manner. We need to focus on cleaning not just our cities but also our rivers. But most importantly, we need to work on changing the mindset of our people. Yes, those very people who think nothing of cleaning up their houses and throwing the rubbish on the street outside; those who spit whenever they feel like, wherever they feel like; or those who drive expensive cars but feel no embarrassment in throwing litter out of the window as they speed past.
• But most of all, what I really want for 2015, is peace and harmony. Peace between nations. Harmony between religions. Camaraderie between people no matter what their faith or nationality. And an end to the cycle of senseless violence that we have seen in 2014.

I know. It is a very tall order, indeed. And I know at a subliminal level, that I am doomed to disappointment in 12 months time. But how else do you enter a new year, except with a hope and a prayer? And the fervent desire that this time round, things will be much better.