It’s all very well to outrage
about the Tehelka case; but let’s also try and ensure that such cases don’t
recur
Over the last fortnight, the media have
been ‘larcerating’ themselves over the sexual assault allegations leveled
against Tehelka editor, Tarun Tejpal, by a (now former) staffer of the
magazine. The account of the aggrieved journalist makes for sorry reading, but
what was even more disturbing was the attempt by Tehelka to try and pass this
off as an ‘internal matter’. When journalists dared ask questions of Tehelka
managing editor, Shoma Chaudhury, she shot back angrily: “Are you the aggrieved
party?” (Presumably, Shoma, or to call her by what we now discover is her real
name, Suparna, was an ‘aggrieved party’ in the Assaram case, or else why would
she chose to cover it?)
Well, you know what, Ms Chaudhury? We are
all aggrieved parties in this. Not just every woman who has ever had to fend
off unwanted sexual advances in the workplace; but every young girl in school
and college today, who one day hopes to step into the work force. Not to
mention, every unborn child who deserves to enter into a world in which women
are not preyed upon sexually – and then victim-shamed when they summon the
courage to speak up.
But how do we create that world?
Outraging on Twitter, fulminating on TV and in columns such as this one, is a
good way of venting when our rage, frustration and despair threaten to
overwhelm us. But it doesn’t really change things in the real world. And nor
does the constitution of sexual harassment committees in accordance with the
Vishakha guidelines.
So, what will? I have spent the last week
or so trying to come up with some answers. This is what I have so far:
1) Start work on the
next generation. Much as it saddens me to say this, most of the men in my
generation and the one above are beyond redeeming. It was telling that the only
people who were willing to come on TV and defend Tejpal were men of a certain
age who had grown up in an age of entitlement. In their world, junior staffers
should be flattered when men in power show sexual interest in them; and shut up
and put up with sexual harassment, or even sexual assault. A mentality like
that is hard to change. So, while we shouldn’t let them get away with victim
shaming, let’s not nourish any illusions that their Neanderthal thinking will
change.
Instead, let’s try
and get the young men of today and tomorrow to see women as something other
than sexual objects. In this endeavor, the mothers – and indeed, fathers – of young
boys have the biggest role to play. Teach your son that a woman’s right to her
bodily integrity is inviolable. Make him understand that no means no. Upbraid
him when he makes sexist comments. Respect his girlfriend/wife rather than
undermine her. Teach him by example. Don’t refer to women in short dresses as
‘sluts’. Don’t act as if a girl who has premarital sex is a ‘whore’. Don’t
sneer at women who frequent nightclubs as ‘easy’ or ‘fast’.
2) But while the role
of parents is crucial, schools, colleges and other educational institutions can
also play a vital role. Alongside classes on sex education, we also need to
teach lessons about sexual behavior. We need to tell young girls and boys what constitutes
sexual harassment or even sexual assault. Young girls need to be taught that it
is okay to speak out against any man who violates their body. Young boys need
to be taught that consent is crucial when it comes to sex. I know it seems
self-evident but it is frightening how many men grow up believing that a
woman’s ‘no’ means ‘not yet’ and that if they persist it will change into a
‘yes’. It bears repeating. No means no.
3) A policy of zero
tolerance. I remember going on a TV programme on rapper Honey Singh and being
asked if I was just picking on him because he was a ‘soft target’. There are no
‘soft targets’ when it comes to sexual violence against women. The man who
pinches your bum in the bus, the guy who makes a sexual comment on the street,
the singer who raps about violence against women, the boss who acts as if
sexual favours are his God-given right, the man who molests or rapes a woman.
All of them need to be punished with the full force of the law
4) No sexualisation
of the workplace. And this applies to both men and women. Just as we take it
for granted that it is not okay for men to watch pornography at the office, or
indeed, decorate their desks with pin-ups of naked women, it is also not okay
for women to sexualize the workplace by dressing like wannabe porn stars. There
is a time and a place to wear a mini-skirt or a camisole top. Your office is
not that place. And while I am all for the right of women to dress as they
please, we also need to understand that showing butt cracks or acres of
cleavage sexualizes our workplace just as much as dirty jokes do. We wouldn’t
stand for it if our male colleagues dressed like that. The same standards
should apply to us.
For a truly equal,
sexual harassment-free workplace, men and women need to work together. And that
work needs to start now.
