Take a break!

No matter how busy you are take some time out for yourself every day

It was my mother who first modelled self-care to me — even though I was too young at that time to recognise it for what it was. We lived in a joint family with my grandparents and running a household of seven people with minimal help was a full-time job for her. But in the midst of all that chaos, my mother still found ways to carve out some time for herself. 

For one thing, she would wake up every morning around 3 am when the rest of the household was asleep. She would have a long leisurely bath, she would do her (very elaborate) puja, she would make a cup of tea for herself. And then, having had some quality time to herself, she would slip back into bed until it was time to wake everyone up and start another long day. 

She also had another daily ritual, which was totally immutable. After she had made lunch, made sure everyone was fed, and that the kitchen was clean, at exactly 2 pm she would retire to her room and lock the door. I never knew what she did in there. She could have been reading a book. She could have been taking a nap. All she would say is that she was not to be disturbed until 4 pm when she would unlock the door and emerge to organise evening tea for the family. 

Even as a child I realised that this time was sacrosanct to her. And that I should not intrude on her in these two hours on pain of death (or, even, if I was actually dying!). This was her me-time — not that we used that phrase in those days — and all of us needed to respect that. And that, we certainly did. 

Those early lessons in self-care left me with a life-long insistence on making time for myself no matter how busy my life got. When I was editing the features section of a newspaper and had long days at work, I would always take an hour out for lunch. I didn’t go out to eat every day, but I did ensure that nobody disturbed me even if I was just eating a sandwich on my desk and decompressing with a book. When I was working on my first novel, Race Course Road, and had tight deadlines to meet, I would always knock off work at around 4 pm to take a walk. It could be just around the neighbourhood or I would venture to Sunder Nursery or Lodi Gardens to let both my legs and my mind wander. That break, in retrospect, was critical in ensuring that I didn’t get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task I had embarked on. 

When it comes to self-care, though, it’s the quality of time that matters not the quantity. Even taking 15 minutes off in the course of the day to listen to music, do the crossword, try your hand at the day’s Wordle, or just make yourself of a cup of coffee which you sip at leisure, makes you feel less stressed. 

Taking a break makes sure that you don’t break. Don’t take my word for it, though. Try it for yourself and see what a difference it makes. 

Winter is coming

Here’s how you can best enjoy the season in the times of Corona

This is my favourite time of the year in Delhi. When the mornings and evenings turn noticeably cooler. When the afternoon sun loses its searing intensity and softens into a benign rather than malign presence. When the nights draw in faster than ever and you can pretend that the day is done by 6 pm and get set to enjoy your evenings.

Yes, for those of us who live in the north of India, it has become clear over the last week or so that winter is coming. But the question that faces us all is what it will bring with it.

The bad news, of course, is that we are being told by the medical community that Covid cases are bound to go up as the temperatures godown. This has been borne out by events in Europe and America, where the cold weather has brought in a fresh wave of coronavirus cases. In fact, so high is the infection rate in some countries that they have had to enforce fresh lockdowns to try and break the chain.

We can only hope and pray that we don’t see this happen in India as well, as the cold intensifies. But given that viruses like these flourish at lower temperatures, we are bound to see a spike in cases here as well. So, the only solution is to hunker down in our bunkers, maintain social distancing, always wear a mask in public, and keep washing our hands as if our lives depended on it (spoiler alert: it does!).

So, if you are someone like me who longs for the arrival of winter every year, how can you responsibly enjoy this season in the times of Covid?

Well, allow me to count the ways…

The best place to enjoy the bounty of the season is in the privacy of your own kitchen. Winter greens are flooding the market now, and you can indulge in all your personal favourites. For me, that means gorging on sarson ka saag, drowned in industrial quantities of home-churned white butter, scooped up with a makki ki roti. It means adding a healthy dose of fresh methi leaves to every subzi I cook,
from potatoes to gobhi to paneer. It means snacking on freshly-harvested mooli, cutting the bitterness of the radish with a mouthful of something sweet like a peanut chikki. It means feasting on flavourful oranges, biting down on each segment and letting the juice explode in your mouth. It means…ah well, you get the picture.

The start of winter is also the best time to take a long walk in your neighbourhood park. There is a cool breeze to power you along rather than a sharp wind to throw you off your stride. You are not weighed down with multiple layers of clothing to ward off the cold. And better still, you need to work extra hard to break a sweat. (Not to mention that it’s not quite so uncomfortable under the mask!)

If the idea of leaving the sanctuary of your home for a walk seems a bit daunting as Covid cases refuse to go down, then just settle down in a corner of your house that gets the dappled afternoon sun, take an hour off to read a book while you enjoy a hot cup of coffee or tea, or simply slip in your headphones and listen to some music. When the sun finally sets, you can enjoy the cool evenings while sitting on your
balcony with a glass (or two) of wine and your better half.

As for me, I am waiting impatiently for the weather to get even colder, so that the Saptaparni (Alstonia) tree that overlooks my balcony starts flowering again. The smell of the blooms is so heady that if I could bottle and sell it, it would make me a millionaire many times over. But frankly, just breathing in that fragrance makes
me feel like a million bucks. And, at the end of the day, that is all that truly matters.

Take a walk

Trust me on this, it will do you much good; and not just by way of exercise

This is the only time of the year when it is a pleasure to take a walk in the park. The worst of the winter in over (in those parts that do, in fact, have a winter) and the searing heat of the summer lies in the hazy distance. There is a cool breeze wafting, the sun radiates its mild benevolence on all, the flowers bloom without the slightest sense of modesty, and the smell of roasting peanuts comes rolling in from around the corner.

How can you not enjoy a walk through the park when the whole universe is conspiring to please you at every turn?

Well, as you may have guessed by now, I can and I do enjoy it tremendously. I try and keep my afternoons free so that I can ramble through Lodhi Garden, taking care to stay away from the jogging track with its aggressive, Lycra-clad bullies who take particular pleasure in shoving slower souls like me off the path. Instead, I veer off on to the smaller pathways, some of them enclosed by bamboo trees, some bound by flowering beds, and yet others bordered by a quietly sparkling lake, where ducks and geese majestically paddle away, scarcely disturbing the calm surface of the water.

I turn my phone on silent and slip it into my pocket. For the next hour or so, I don't want to hear from anyone. I don't need music blaring through my earphones. I don't care for the distraction of my Twitter timeline or my Facebook feed. I don't want to take pictures that I can later post on Instagram.

This is my quiet time. A time when I need to hear myself think. And I find that I never think quite so clearly as when I am taking a walk.

This is the time when I work out the kinks in the plot of the novel I am halfway through writing. This is when I think of the topic of my next column. This is when I plan the menu if I am having people over for dinner. This is when I think of the cutting responses I should have used in the argument I had with a friend last night (I know, I know, it's too late, but even so...).

But most of all, I use this time to simply let my mind wander where it will. If it chooses to go back and examine a childhood memory, I follow it right there. If it wants to puzzle over why dog owners never pick up after their pooches, I allow it to do so. If it feels like ruminating over the book I've just finished reading, I let it. If it wants to examine the meaning of life, then I indulge it.

And I can tell that my mind really needs this because at the end of my perambulation I find myself feeling much lighter, more energised, and far less stressed than I was before I began my walk. And it's not just the physical exercise that makes me feel better about myself, it is also the mental stimulation.

It now turns out that I am far from being the only one who feels this way. A recent article in the New York Times detailed a University of Birmingham study that examined if people did feel better after a walk. The subjects were divided into two groups, one of whom walked for half an hour in their lunch break (they could pace themselves as they saw fit; going as slow or fast as they liked) while the other didn't. Those who did walk were asked to rate their state of mind afterwards on a specially designed app. At the end of 10 weeks, the first group had significantly higher rates of mental and physical satisfaction than the group that didn't walk. They felt better about themselves, were less stressed, felt more equipped to deal with problems and were far less overwhelmed by life.

After 10 weeks, the second group -- which had, until then, served as the control group -- was asked to walk during their lunch break as well. And -- you guessed right! -- they started feeling better about themselves as well after taking a half-hour lunchtime stroll. They felt refreshed, rejuvenated and ready on take on the world (I paraphrase, of course, but that was the gist of it).

Frankly, I am not surprised. My own experience has told me over the years that going for a walk leads to a sense of well-being that has nothing to do with aerobic exercise itself. A walk is much more than that.

For me, it is a period of quiet reflection, a time to switch off and spend time with myself. For others, who treat it as a communal activity, it may be a time to bond with friends, exchange gossip, or just a laugh or two. And then, there are those who treat it as an opportunity to listen to the latest music or even listen to an audio book, something that they don't otherwise have time for in their fractious lives.

But whatever the motivation, there is no denying that taking a stroll, no matter how gentle, is good for your general well being. So, what are you waiting for? Go on. Take a walk. You can always thank me later.