Match point

Indian Matchmaking is back and is as compelling viewing as ever

 

What does one say about a TV show about matchmaking in which the only couple who do get married don’t meet through the matchmaker? Well, I guess the only thing one can say is that the new season of Indian Matchmaking (on Netflix) doesn’t really make a great case for matchmakers.

 

Don’t get me wrong. Sima Aunty – or Sima from Mumbai, as she persistently introduces herself – is a great character, full of vim and vigour and the occasional devastating put-down. When it comes to matchmaking, though, she doesn’t exactly have a stellar success rate, going by her clients who feature in this series (maybe, in all fairness, she has better luck off screen). But despite the fact that none of her matches seem to take, Sima Aunty sallies forth in every episode, confidence undented, folio of biodatas in hand, with unalloyed optimism in her heart. Bless!

 

It is her clients who worry me, though. There is an endless stream of strong, confident 30-somethings who have stellar careers, beautiful homes, loving families and supportive friends, who nonetheless feel that their lives are not complete unless they have a spouse in tow as well. And that’s just the men – the women are, if anything, even more desperate to ‘settle down’. And for some reason, all these sentient adults seem to believe that the answer to their dreams lies in the biodatas that Sima Aunty brings to every meeting. 

 

It's telling that it is the matchmaker herself who tries to lower their expectations. After asking them to list their criteria for a match, she shakes her head and says that nobody gets a 100 per cent match. They will have to compromise and adjust to find a match (or what her clients refer to as ‘settling’).

 

The lists of ‘criteria’ give us an insight into the minds of these clients – but not in the way they were hoping. They all claim to be open-minded but they all want to be matched with someone within their own community. The partner has to be Indian, sometimes even specifically from one particular state, and one client even asks that her match be fluent in her mother tongue (because otherwise he may not get the family jokes!). One guy – who strangely enough, remains unmatched until the end – wants a girl who is extroverted as well as introverted (no, me neither). And oh yes, she must know how to make pakoras like his mother. 

 

The list of demands ranges from the impossible to the improbable, with a specificity that is mind-boggling. So much so that by the end, you develop a sneaking sympathy for Sima Aunty who has to deal with everything from a desire for man buns and tattoos to rustling up a man who is into sky-diving. As she bleats sadly, only 60 per cent to 70 per cent is possible.

 

But never mind all these demanding clients. It is another character entirely that plays a starring role in the series. And it’s called Karma. (Look away now if you don’t want any spoilers.)

 

The first victim is Nadia. The show opens with her inviting her match, Shekar, home to meet her family. You would think that things were getting serious between them. But then she meets a younger man, Vishal, and before you can say ‘Nick Jonas’ she is snogging him on the dance floor in front of the mortified Shekar. To make matters worse, she drops him on a Facetime call, ending it by saying that she has to go because she and Vishal have ordered dinner – and Shekar walks off into the sunset in tears.

 

Cut to a few weeks later. Vishal flies in to have dinner with Nadia, and announces that he doesn’t feel ‘that spark’ with her and that it’s over. It is now Nadia’s turn to dissolve into tears.

 

And then, there is Vinesh, who turns down Mausam because she is not hot enough for him, only to be turned down by his next match. The pneumatic nurse, Meena, purses her filler lips to dismiss him as one of the frogs she has to (metaphorically) kiss before she finds her Prince. 

 

As they don’t say, Karma is a dish best served by a hot girl!