Be Indian, see India

Don’t want to deal with hostile immigration officers in foreign countries? Take a break in your own instead!

Late last year, we had planned to visit America, home to our extended family, with New York as the first stop. But that was before Donald Trump’s infamous ‘travel ban’ and the news that immigration officers in the US now had the right to scroll through your phone and laptop before letting you into the country. (And if they asked you for the passwords to your social media accounts to check that you were not an undesirable alien, you were supposed to hand them over or risk being flown right back to your point of origin.)

Not my idea of fun. And I suspect, not your idea of fun either. After all, who in their right minds would want to vacation in a country in which even valid visa-holders are treated as potential criminals/terrorists who must prove their innocence before being let in?

But while America presents its own peculiar challenges, the rest of the world isn’t a much better bet at this moment. Turkey (another destination we had been toying with) seems a bit dicey after a spate of terrorist attacks. Paris has seen terror wreak havoc on its streets. And we keep being told that London is next on the jihadi hit list.

So, if you are a scaredy-cat like me, and don’t fancy the idea of taking your life into your hands every time you venture out on holiday, then here’s a plan for you. This year, stick to vacationing in India. There’s so much to see and do in this vast sub-continent of ours that you won’t miss going abroad at all. And what you save on airfare, you can spend on experiences.

If the idea appeals to you, then here’s a handy (though far from comprehensive) list of all the things that you can do and the places you can visit without ever leaving our borders.

* Go temple-hopping:

No, I don’t mean a pilgrimage necessarily, though I always find a trip to, say, Vaishnoo Devi or Tirupati, very invigorating. You can always do the religious thing, if that floats your boat. But even if you are a non-believer, a trip to such destinations as Khajuraho, Varanasi, the sun temple at Konark, the ancient Martand temple in Kashmir, is an amazing experience in and of itself. The sculptures, the magnificent architecture, the patina of the ages, all of it makes for stunning visual beauty and a sense of how far back our civilization extends.

Such ancient cities as Mahabalipurum in Tamil Nadu with its rock reliefs that date back to the 7^th century and Hampi in Karnataka which is listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site are well worth a visit. And if you are up to climbing around 700 steps, then head up the hill at Shravanabelagola to get a close look at the Gommattesvara Bahubali statue, which dates back to the 10^th century, the biggest sculpture ever to be hewn from a single piece of rock.

* Be a beach bum:

Speaking for myself, I find Goa to be a crashing bore, with overcrowded beaches and murky water. If you want a beach holiday in India, the best place to go is the Andaman Islands, where the white sand beaches are pristine and bordered with the clearest blue water. Head out there before the hordes discover it.

* Hit the mountain trails:

No matter which part of India you live in, a hill station is never too far away. From Calcutta, it is easy to access Sikkim and Bhutan. If you are in Delhi, then the ski slopes of Gulmarg are a short plane ride away, as are the picturesque peaks of Uttarakhand. In the South, you can head to Ooty, Munnar, Kodaikanal or Coorg. And those who live in the West of India, can visit Mount Abu, which has an added attraction in the shape of the Jain Dilwara temples built between the 11^th and 13^th centuries.

* Go healthy and holistic:

If you are feeling a bit rundown and in need of some rejuvenation, take a spa break. In India, you are spoilt for choice when it comes to this category. You can go all fancy and spend a fortune at such upmarket resorts as Ananda in the Himalayas. Or you could go in for a more earthy and intense experience at such Kerala spas as Kairali, which bills itself as an Ayurvedic healing village and offers treatment for such diverse conditions as arthritis, bronchitis and hypertension. Or you can simply drive to a ‘spa resort’ near your city for a weekend break, involving lots of massages and heaps of indolence.

* Answer the call of the wild:

When it comes to wildlife, India has a virtual embarrassment of riches. Want to catch a glimpse of a tiger in the wild? You can visit Ranthambore in Rajasthan, Bandhavgarh and Kanha in Madhya Pradesh. If you live down south, then the Kalakad Mundanthurai Tiger Reserve in Tamil Nadu and Periyar National Park in Kerala are good options. Kaziranga National Park in Assam also has enough tigers to qualify as a tiger reserve even though its main claim to fame is as a rhinoceros sanctuary – it houses two-thirds of the world’s great one-horned rhinoceros (along with a large population of elephants) and is classed as World Heritage Site. If bird-watching is your thing, then you can’t go wrong with the Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary, now restyled as the Keoladeo National Park.

So, put away that passport for now. And go the Swadeshi way when it comes to travel. I promise you won’t regret it.

Will you be my Valentine?

Save yourself! Say no to the commercialisation of romance that is Valentine's Day

It's that time of year again. When we are exhorted to up our game when it comes to gourmet dinners, expensive gifts and mushy greeting cards. When we are asked to break out the fancy chocolate and those overblown hothouse flowers. When we are encouraged to go for the extravagant gesture that translates as excessive expense.

Yes, Valentine's Day is around the corner and suddenly we are required to see life through the rose-tinted glasses of romance. Whisk your girlfriend away for a romantic mini-break. Surprise her with a diamond. Book a band to serenade her over dinner. (Sorry guys, but this is one time when you are expected to do all the heavy lifting while your better half sits back and prepares to be pampered!)

As I may have mentioned before in these pages, there is nothing I hate more than all this palaver. It's bad enough to suggest that one day should be set aside to celebrate romance (if you ask me, given the hate we see all around us, we should celebrate love and lovers every single day.) But it's even worse to take that day and commercialise the living bejesus out of it.

And that's exactly what has happened to Valentine's Day. Schmaltzy greeting cards flood the shops in the run up to V Day. Flower shops push up their prices to absurd levels to take full advantage of young (and sometimes middle-aged) love. And restaurants ditch their regular menu to come up with Valentine Day specials that always involve such 'aphrodisiacal' ingredients as oysters and asparagus (this seems borderline insulting to me but then I've never been to one of these 'special V day' dinners, so what do I know?) paired with dodgy sparkling wine that they pass off as champagne.

Growing up when I did, I was fortunate enough to go through my teenage years without worrying about whether I would score a Valentine card of my own. There was certainly no pressure to find a date for Valentine's Day -- or be considered a loser forever. And nor was it considered mandatory to waste an enormous amount of money on this day to prove just how romantic you were.

Young people these days are not so lucky. Being home alone on Valentine's Day is likely to reduce your status to that of social pariah. But if you are going out, guys, then be prepared to shell out the big bucks to prove just how devoted a lover you are. Bring on the roses, pop the champagne, and prepare for an evening of conspicuous consumption made tolerable by some mandatory canoodling.

Speaking for myself, I can't think of anything more soul-destroying -- or romance-ruining, or even bankrupt-making -- as participating in this commercial exercise that goes by the monicker of Valentine's Day. So my way of registering a protest is to stay at home, cook a simple meal, open a bottle of wine and then settle down on the couch to watch a good movie or TV series (which, to be honest, is what I do most days).

But if you want to push the boat out on V Day, don't let me put a damper on your enthusiasm. By all means, spend a fortune on overpriced flowers, max your credit card out on buying the most expensive set meal ever, and surprise her with the stone of her choice. If you want to be a chump, then it is hardly my place to stop you.

If, on the other hand, you want to Just Say No to V day and its vanities, then here's a handy guide to what you can do instead with the money you have saved:

* You can buy a bottle of champagne -- the real thing, not all that sparkling wine nonsense -- and invite your date over to pop it open ceremonially. Drink it in the privacy of your home (or your room if you still live with your parents), pairing with a simple meal of smoked salmon, scrambled eggs and buttery toast. I am not sure if any of this stuff is 'aphrodisiacal' but I am pretty sure it will put you in the right mood.

* Book a spa break for you and your loved one over the weekend. Sleep in late, have a nice brunch, get massaged. Rinse and repeat. Bliss!

* Create a bespoke experience for your significant other. Buy the best bath products in the market and stock up on scented candles. And when she/he gets back from work, surprise her/him with a lovely bubble bath (bottle of bubbly and back scrub optional).

* Eschew cliches like jewellery and designer bags and find a present that is meaningful for your loved one. Find a first edition/signed copy of a book she adored as a child. Buy a piece of art that he admired as you walked past the art gallery. Or better still, if you are up to it, write him/her a love poem of your own, have a calligrapher copy it down, and set it in a beautiful frame.

And most important of all, don't wait for Valentine's Day to do all this stuff. Love is worth celebrating every day of the year.  And lovers, even more so.