It's a New Year!

My best-of-2023 list... 

This is my first column of 2024. But this week I am looking back – and giving you a taste of all that made 2023 (despite its many miseries) bearable for me. Here, in no particular order, is my best-of-2023 list.

 

Best trip: My love affair with Italy will endure forever, but this year it was another destination that left me stunned by its beauty and captivated by its charm. Morocco had everything that I could have asked for: a beautiful seaside town in Tangiers, a bustling modern city in Casablanca, a spectacular historical centre in Fez. And that’s before you even start on the beauty of the Atlas mountains. An unexpected bonus was the friendliness and warmth of the Moroccan people, and the truly breathtaking Oberoi hotel in Marrakech that made me feel proud to be Indian every time I walked through its doors.

 

Best book: I know the book was published in 2022 but it wasn’t until 2023 that I picked up Bonnie Garmus’s Lessons In Chemistry – and was completely blown away. It wasn’t the conceit of cooking being seen through the lens of chemistry that enticed me so. It was the character of the heroine herself. I don’t think there has ever been a character like Elizabeth Zott in fiction – and I doubt there will ever be again. If you have read it, you will know what I mean. And if you haven’t as yet, you have a treat in store for you.

 

Best movie: I had to wait till the fag end of the year for this one and, frankly, I went into it with zero expectations. But Kho Gaye Hum Kahan surprised me with its sensitive yet entertaining exploration of the world of today’s 20-somethings and their obsession with social media. The tone was far from preachy, the direction had a light touch, and the star cast stepped up with some of their best work. The star of the show was undoubtedly Ananya Pandey, whose emotional journey was the core of the movie.

 

Best TV show: There was simply no contest in this category. Slow Horses on Apple TV (based on the book by Mick Herron) was the best thing on television in 2023. It wasn’t just that Gary Oldman gave the performance of his life as the shambolic Jackson Lamb, whose slovenly exterior hides a razor-sharp brain and reflexes you wouldn’t expect from an overweight, out of shape, washed-up old spy. The rest of the cast is excellent as well, but it is Oldman who carries the show, helped along by the best writing in the business.

 

Best meal: You will probably expect me to name some fancy restaurant or an iconic chef. But the truth is that the meal that stood out for me was one that was grabbed on impulse, cost very little, but which packed a pretty punch when it came to flavour. It helped that I consumed it in surroundings of outstanding natural beauty, the splendour of the Sakura trees in full bloom providing an elegant complement to the egg katsu (sandwich) I had picked up at a grocery store in Tokyo. The creaminess of the boiled egg, the unctuousness of the mayonnaise set off the sweetness of the white bread perfectly. Heaven in every bite. 

New Year goals

Here's my wish list for 2024

This is the last column I will write in 2023. But rather than look back on the year that has gone by and reflect on what has past I thought I would look ahead to 2024 — not to speculate on what it would bring but to make a few resolutions about how I would make the best of it. 

So, here goes!

• Read more; scroll less. What with the world going to hell in a hand basket, my habit of doomscrolling went from worse to worst this last year. I spent countless hours refreshing newspaper sites and trawling through Twitter (or X, as we are supposed to call it now) to follow these events. As a result I ended up better informed than ever before but more depressed than I had thought possible. So, on the grounds that this obsession with bad news can’t be good for me, I have decided that I am going to ration the time I spend keeping up with current affairs. And I am going to go offline for major chunks of time and read, read, read. That seems to be the only way of keeping my equilibrium in a world that appears to have gone mad. 
• Read wider; read better. As regular readers of this column will know, I am a creature of habit when it comes to books. I invariably go back to authors I am familiar with, sometimes for their new books or even to read an old favourite. But as the realisation dawns that I now have more yesterdays than tomorrows it comes with a renewed urgency to discover new writers and try and explore new genres. So in 2024 I am going to eschew my go-to psychological thrillers, murder mysteries and spy novels and try and develop a taste for something else. It could be historical novels, it could be literary opuses that I have missed out on, or something else entirely, but expand my horizons I must. And that also means discovering new authors — some of whom I haven’t even heard of as yet. I will let you know how the experiment goes by the end of next year. 
• Less shopping; more recycling. Like most people my age, I have ended up accumulating far too much stuff. If I were to never buy a pair of jeans, a sari, shoes or a handbag ever again, my current stock should see me through to the end of my years. So no matter how tempting the new collection looks in the shops I am going to walk resolutely away - and rewear all that lies unused in my closet. And all that stuff that I have been hoarding away in the hope that one day I will fit into it again? Well, I am going to steel myself and give it away to someone who can get use out of it. 
• Get strong; get flexible. Ever since my diabetes diagnosis a few years ago, I have become so obsessed with my daily walks that all other forms of exercise have fallen by the wayside. This year, though, I am determined to regain my flexibility and muscular strength with a combination of resistance training and Pilates. Wish me luck even as I wish you all a Happy New Year! 

Is life a beach?

Or is it a hill to climb?

So are you a beach person or a mountains person? Are you the kind of person that loves splashing in the waves and then drying off on warm white sands? Or are one of those who loves snuggling down under layers of covers next to a roaring fire, with a glass of brandy and a good book in hand, while the snow turns the landscape white outside your window? 

Which one am I, you ask? Well, to tell you the truth, I can’t quite make up my mind. There are times when I feel that I was made to lie lazily on the beach, sipping a cocktail under an umbrella, watching the immutable rise and fall of the waves. But then, the sea breeze makes my hair grow all crinkly, the sun makes me all sweaty and red and the sand gets absolutely everywhere, and I feel that I might be better off in the mountains. 

And I love the mountains! There is something magical about driving uphill on meandering roads and finding yourself looking down on a beautiful vista that changes subtly ever so often. The air is crisp and cold, the weather is bracing rather than blistering, and hot chocolate never tastes better than when you’re sipping it by the light of a bonfire. But then, the cold settles into my bones, the sun goes missing in the mist, and I feel as if I will never feel warm again — and I find myself longing for the beach. 

Is this just me — perverse to a fault — or is this longing for what we do not have an essential part of the human condition? 

There must be a reason why we all head for the cold of the mountains when the temperatures begin to climb in the plains. And why we plan our escape to the sea the moment winter comes calling. We want to enjoy the cold when it’s hot and revel in the heat when it’s cold. 

I am writing this column in Goa, where I am taking a little break from a Delhi winter that is inflicting record levels of pollution on us, and I have to say that the beach life looks perfect to me right now. The shrimp is fresh, the air is salty, and the sand feels soft and satiny beneath my bare feet. The beach is not exactly empty but there are stretches where you can enjoy a little bit of solitude. What’s not to like?

If I had headed to the mountains instead, what would I have encountered in this season? Traffic jams on hill roads because too many other people had the same idea as me, overcrowded hill stations heaving with tourists, crumbling infrastructure — and the guilty feeling that I was despoiling the environment with my very presence. Even the best hot chocolate in the world couldn’t possibly compensate in that scenario. 

So, maybe on balance, I might be better off as a beach person, after all.  Glad we got that cleared up well in time for the New Year!

Out with the old

We can’t wait to bid goodbye to 2020; but let's do it with style and care

 

It’s only a matter of days before we can kiss goodbye to 2020. And frankly, the end can’t come soon enough for me – and, I’m sure, for the rest of you as well. 

 

It’s been quite a ride, hasn’t it? We’ve been locked down for months thanks to this dreaded pandemic, we have seen Covid wreak its ravages among our friends and families, and some of us have even contracted the virus ourselves and are still combatting its long-term effects. Of course, life has slowly been limping back to normal and we have all rejoiced at the good news that vaccines for coronavirus will be available to us in a matter of months.

 

So, with a bit of luck, 2021 should be a better year than this one has been. And yet, as we countdown to a New Year, our thoughts inevitably turn to how we can bid goodbye to the one we have just lived through.

 

It’s a tricky one, isn’t it? We can’t really party as we do every year-end, getting tipsy and dancing badly to playlists put together by our friends. And it’s a risky proposition to set off for some scenic destination to bring in the New Year, given that we may well be exposed to the virus in the course of our travels. (It really would be a pity to get Covid now, when the vaccine is just within our reach, just because we fancied a holiday on the beach!)

 

All of that is indisputably true. But despite all that, as a race we are genetically programmed to mark the transition into the New Year with some sort of celebration. So, what would be a Covid-safe way to celebrate?

 

Well, first off, it would be a good idea to stay at home this year. Spend the money you have saved by not heading for an overpriced vacation on a decent bottle (or three) of wine or champagne, order in a nice meal (biryani always hits the spot), put on some nice music, and spend the evening snuggling up to your significant other. (Dressing up is not obligatory, but it’s always nice to make an effort.)

 

To be honest, this is how I spent all my New Year’s Eves even before the pandemic hit. No, we were not always at home – those were the halcyon days when you could travel across the world without a thought – but even if my husband and I were dining in fancy restaurants, it was always a deux. And if you ask me, there’s no better way to ring out the old and ring in the new than a quiet, intimate evening with the person you love most in the world.

 

But if you are more sociable than we are, well then, you can expand your guest list just a tad. If you have a bubble going with some friends and family – and you are sure that they have been observing all the Covid protocols – then you can host a soiree at your place. It’s best if you keep this outdoors to reduce the risk of transmission, and keep the numbers down to the bare minimum. And remember, no kissing anyone other than your partner when the clock counts down to midnight.

 

If the prospect of entertaining at home makes you break out in hives, then opt for a staycation. Most city hotels offer packages for the New Year, and you can put together a small group if you want to celebrate with friends or family. There’s always a fancy dinner, with all the trimmings, on offer. But the best part is waking up the next morning, and ordering a slap-up room service breakfast that you can eat in bed. For me, that is the ultimate luxury!

 

And then, there is always the option of going completely old school and marking the New Year with that old staple: the family picnic. The weather is just right to pack some alu parathas, samosas, pakoras, and a flask of tea and coffee and head out to a scenic park near your location, where you can catch a light snooze in the sunlight after stuffing your face.

 

But however you choose to celebrate, here’s wishing all of you a Happy New Year. (Well, it certainly can’t be any worse than this one!).

 

Ringing out the old

If you're making plans for the New Year, here are some tips to help you along

No sooner has the end of November hoved into sight than the questions begin. What are you doing for New Year? Where is the party? Have you planned a trip somewhere special? And so on and on and on.

There was a time in my life when I was up for partying late into the night on New Year's Eve, drinking and dancing till my feet hurt. Then, there came a phase when my husband and I would leave town around this period, heading to one resort or the other, where we spent all our time reading, relaxing, and fitting in the odd massage. Of late, however, I find myself longing for the comfort of my own home for New Year, quaffing champagne from my own fridge rather than the overpriced swill that hotels include in their all-inclusive New Year 'package'. I love the thought of rustling up a meal in my own kitchen and eating it on my dining table, and then retiring to the couch for  a post-prandial glass of port and a dissection of the year past with my husband. 

The very idea of packing my bags and negotiating the horrors of airports at this time of year strikes terror into my heart these days. But I can understand the impulse of people who want to get away from it all and bring in the New Year at an exotic and exciting location. After all, I did that myself for years on the end. 

The problem with this plan, of course, is that flights are astronomically expensive during this period and hotel rates are ludicrously high. If you are willing to break the bank for a trip like this, then good luck to you. But what are the options for those who don't want to bankrupt themselves for the year to come, even as they celebrate it's arrival. 

Well, here are some tips for them, based entirely on my own experience over the years:

* Staycations are the way to go, especially if you live in a big city. If you do, then check around and see which of the luxury hotels in your city is offering a good package for the New Year break. It will be expensive, of course, but you will come in well under budget when you account for the fact that you are not spending anything on flights (and you will eliminate travel-related stress as well, as an added bonus). Most hotels will turn a blind eye if you bring in your own liquor so long as you drink it in the privacy of your room. So you can sit around in your fluffy bathrobe, order room service and get a bit tiddly, if that's your thing. Or you can get all dressed up for for the fancy New Year dinner in the restaurant downstairs and bop along to the live music as you wait for the clock to strike the midnight hour. And the next morning, all you need to get home is a car ride. No standing in line to check in for your flight. No stripping down to your essentials at security. And no nasty airplane ride to destroy your lovely post New-Year buzz. 

* If leaving town is mandatory for you, then steer clear of the usual New Year destinations that are horribly overpriced and awfully overcrowded at this time (and yes, I do mean Goa) and look further afield. If you want to sun yourself on pristine sands, then try the Andamans or even Lakshwadeep. Head south to Kerala, where you can enjoy the backwaters along with beach destinations, or just cruise along on the iconic rice boats as you enjoy the verdant scenery. If you are up for a bit of adventure then use this time to explore the north east. You could go the usual Gangtok-Rumtek route or go off the beaten track and head for Arunachal Pradesh as I did earlier this year. In this part of India, it will be the beauty that takes your breath away, not the prices -- or the milling crowds for that matter. 

* If you don't feel like you are truly on holiday unless you have left the country, then there are plenty of destinations that will give you a sizable bang for your buck. If you are a fan of Thailand, then head to Bangkok for a city break (the resort islands are unaffordable at this time of year). This is a city that caters to all budgets, the food is excellent and cheap, and fireworks display on New Year's Eve is free as long as line up along the riverside. If you have been there and done that as far as Thailand is concerned, then head on to Vietnam and Cambodia, both of which are great for the budget traveler. Sri Lanka is another county that is good value at this time. The country is trying to revive its tourism industry after a few setbacks and some judicious Googling will garner you some great deals in such destinations as Bentota, Kandy, Galle, and of course, Colombo. 

But wherever you end up, and whatever you do, I hope you have a brilliant New Year. And that 2020 turns out to be your best year yet. 

It's a New Year

But it’s still the same old me – and you know what? That’s okay!

It is traditional, I know, to spend the first month of every year thinking of how you are going to spend the next 11 months. Most of us make what we fondly call New Year resolutions, even though we know – based on past experience – that they won’t even last for a few months. And more often that not, these ‘resolutions’ are all about transforming ourselves: becoming thinner; getting fitter, learning new skills, finding a new job, making more money, spending more time with the family, and so on and on and on.

There are very few people who enter the New Year feeling entirely happy about themselves and their lives. Nearly everyone thinks that they could have done better. And so, they swear that this is the year that they will be the best ever version of themselves.

I guess this is the bit where I break it to you that I am not really the one for resolutions, New Year or otherwise. In fact, the older I grow the more absurd I find this universal tendency to treat the 1^st of January as some sort of landmark, a red letter day if you will, which marks a new beginning. And one that we have to mark as some kind of turning point in our lives.

Well, frankly, it doesn’t feel like that to me any more – if it ever did. I am as happy as the next person to party on New Year’s Eve. Or, if I am lucky, take off for a quiet break with my husband during the Christmas/New Year holiday. But I certainly don’t feel like a new person when I wake up on the first day of the New Year. And I most certainly don’t feel the need to reinvent myself as a new person for the New Year.

In case I am coming off as a bit too pleased with myself, let me hasten to assure you that I do not think that I am so perfect that there is no room for improvement. On the contrary, there are so many ways in which I could be a better person that if I listed them all, I would have to carry this column over to the next page (and the Brunch editor, Jamal Shaikh, would never allow me to do that).

So, I’ll just list a few of my shortcomings, just so that you know that I am not a smug so-and-so.

First off, I could do with being a little more even-keeled. I don’t lose my temper very often, and when I do, I recover it rather quickly. But when I do lose my cool, I lose it quite spectacularly, and it’s not a pretty sight. There is a lot of foaming at the mouth, smoke spewing forth from my ears, and my decibel levels would put some of our North Korean anchors to shame. This storm doesn’t last long but while it does, it can seem life-threatening. So, that’s one area I could definitely improve on.

Then, there is my inability to forgive and forget. Yes, yes, I know all those clichés. Carrying a grudge against someone is allowing him/her to live rent-free in your head. You should forgive people – not because they deserve it, but because you do. But while at a rational level, I recognize the truth of this, I find it impossible to forgive those who have let me down or wronged me over the years. I guess I could try and fix this – or I could just forgive myself for being the brooding, vengeful person I am. I am still debating this one in my head.

But my most annoying (to me, at least) personality trait is my propensity to procrastinate. No matter what the task, I find a way to put it off to the last possible minute. When I was writing my book, Race Course Road, I had printed out a schedule for when I would finish every chapter, generously giving myself a couple of weeks to do that. But every day I would look at the calendar, feel a shiver go up my spine as the deadline grew nearer, and then settle down to do something else entirely. It was only when I had absolutely minimal time left did I get down to doing any work. (By the way, this column too is being written just hours before deadline!)

Could I change all this stuff about me? Perhaps. Should I work on being a better person? Maybe. Or should I just carry on being myself and to hell with the rest of the world? Well, that sounds like a plan.

But what does the New Year have to do with any of that? That’s just an arbitrary line in the sand, drawn by a world that is forever looking to celebrate ‘special’ days. Life doesn’t change – and nor do you – just because a New Year dawns.

If you want to change your life or yourself, you can do that any time you wish to. But if you are happy with your life and at peace with yourself, why let the New Year make you feel otherwise?

Happy Diwali!

It’s the festival that is celebrated all across India – but in many different ways

No sooner did the Supreme Court of India declare that firecrackers (and only the ‘green’ variety – whatever those might be) could only be let off between 8 and 10 pm on Diwali than the protests began. Most of them emanated from outraged firecracker enthusiasts who could not understand why they had to restrict their passion within a narrow two-hour band. (Pollution? What pollution? Don’t you know it’s caused by all those pesky cars and trucks? Not to mention the burning of agricultural waste in neighbouring farmland.)

But there were some who had an entirely different problem. These people were from the south of India, where it is customary to celebrate the festival during the day. In the south Indian tradition you mark Diwali by having an oil bath in the morning, getting dressed in new clothes, doing a puja, and then setting off all the firecrackers you can lay your hands on. How could these communities possibly celebrate according to their traditions and not fall afoul of the Supreme Court ruling? Especially considering that they celebrate Diwali the day before north India does.

And those are not even the main differences between a north Indian and south Indian Diwali. For starters, it is called Deepawali (not Diwali) in south India. And it marks – no, not the victory of Lord Ram over Ravana – the day Lord Krishna killed the demon Narakasura after a fierce battle. It is believed that after Lord Krishna vanquished the demon, he had an oil massage and then a hot bath. So, in emulation of the Lord, south Indians begin the day by oiling their bodies – or ritually anointing their heads – and then having a bath just as Krishna did. Only after this ritual Ganga Snanam is over, and they have donned new clothes for that day, do the festivities and fireworks commence. And yes, they take place over the daytime. Surely, the Supreme Court could have made provision for that?

The truth is that while popular culture revolves around the Diwali rituals and celebrations of north Indian communities, there are as many different ways to mark the festival all over India as there are different communities.

In Maharashtra, for instance, we see an interesting amalgamation of south Indian and north Indian traditions. The day before Diwali is celebrated as Narak Chaturdashi to mark the defeat of Narakasur by Lord Krishna (just like they do in the south). The day starts with an oil massage but here a special ubtan (scrub), made from sandalwood, camphor, rose, orange skin, turmeric, etc., is used before the ritual bath (called the abhyang-snan here). On Diwali day, however, Maharashtra falls in line with the rest of north India to worship the Goddess Lakshmi, and then set off some – you guessed it! – firecrackers.

In Bengal and some other parts of Eastern India, however, the goddess who is worshipped on this occasion is not Lakshmi but Kali. In fact, the festival is described as Kali Puja rather than Diwali in these parts, and is dedicated to the fierce goddess who killed all the demons in her path (and used their heads to fashion a garland she wears around her neck). When the gods wanted to stop her killing spree, they sent her husband, Lord Shiva, who lay down in her path. In her fury, Kali stepped on him too before realizing her mistake. Which is why she is pictured with her tongue out and her foot on Shiva’s chest. It is this fierce incarnation of the Devi who is worshipped here at midnight, not the benign Lakshmi.

In Gujarat, on the other hand, it is the Goddess of Wealth who reigns supreme on this day. For Gujaratis, Diwali marks the end of the year and the next year is celebrated as Bestu Varas, or New Year’s Day. So, while Diwali is marked with a Lakshmi Puja in the evening, in which the whole family gathers to propitiate the Goddess, the following day is devoted to welcoming in the New Year. It is heralded by the bursting of firecrackers at 4 am (wonder what the Supreme Court will have to say about that!) because of the Hindu belief that the new day begins as dawn. And then begin the endless greetings of ‘Saal Mubarak’ as Gujaratis across the world call to wish each other a Happy New Year.

In Punjab, while the Hindu community follows the standard north Indian pattern of celebrating Diwali with Lakshmi Puja, the Sikhs mark this date because this was when Guru Hargobind, the 6^th Guru, was released from prison by Emperor Jahangir in 1619 along with 52 other princes whose release he secured. The occasion was marked by lighting up the Golden Temple in Amritsar, and that tradition continues to this day. So, when you see the Golden Temple all lit up, remember it’s not Diwali they’re celebrating, it is Bandhi Chhor Diwas (Prisoner Release Day), yet another example of the triumph of good over evil.

But no matter which community is doing the celebrating, fireworks seem to be mandatory on this occasion. So, will the Supreme Court ruling make any difference to how people mark the festival of lights – and increasingly, noise – all over India?

Well, give it a few days and we’ll find out one way or the other. Until then, I wouldn’t hold my breath – unless, of course, I am forced to by all the pollutants in the air.

  

Happy New Year!

Instead of New Year resolutions, here's my to-do list for 2018

I decided a few years ago that I wasn't going to bother with New Year resolutions any longer. And I find that the decision has served me well. No longer do I psych myself to achieve goals that I inevitably give up on a few months into the year. And nor do I feel that crushing sense of failure when I can't live up to my own expectations. 

So that resolution stands: no more resolutions for the new year. 

This January, however, I have decided that I will mark the advent of 2018 by compiling a to-do list of all that I hope to achieve - or at least work towards - this year. It is a suitably idiosyncratic and wildly varying list, so it may not make the best sense for all of you. But for me, this is just the ticket to make sure that 2018 trumps 2017 by a good margin. 

So, here goes, in no particular order of importance: 

* A couple of bereavements over the last two years have taught me an important lesson: it is never a good idea to leave your stuff behind for other people to deal with. So, with that in mind, I have resolved that this is going to be the year of giving away. Books that I am never going to re-read. Clothes that haven't seen the light of day in 12 months. Costume jewellery that is now too young for me (shoes and bags, ditto). DVDs, knick-knacks, mementos from trips long-forgotten. It all goes. By the time next January rolls around, I hope to have decluttered completely. 

* Of course, all of the above would be useless if I kept on buying more stuff to take the place of what I have given away. So the next item on my to-do list is to buy less. No more shoe-shopping orgies in which I notch up a dozen shoes without even realizing what I am doing. No buying another winter coat when the ones I have in my closet barely get any wear. No more buying physical books unless they're the kind I will want to read again and again (for the rest, the Kindle is a good enough home). And for every single item I buy, I have to get rid of one thing I already possess. That should put a dose of discipline into the proceedings.  

* Talking of books, this is the year when I read more and tweet less (and spend less time on Internet generally). Even those who finish a book a day can only read around 25,000-odd books in their entire lifetime (give or take 70 years). And with every birthday, the number of books that I can realistically read before I depart for the great library in the sky gets less and less. So, it's time to hunker down and devour all the books I always meant to read - but never got around to starting. 

* The year 2017 will always be special to me because I finished my first novel, Race Course Road, in its closing months (it will be released in February this year). And I am hoping I can make 2018 count as well by going back to the manuscript I abandoned half-way to work on this book and getting that across the finish line as well. 

* For the past couple of years, I have been keeping my sugar levels under control by taking long walks when the weather and pollution permits or by joylessly toiling away on my cross-trainer with one eye trained on the television. But that was only until I discovered that I could notch up many more calories burnt and achieve a much higher heart rate if I slipping my earphones in and danced the hour away instead. So, that is going to be my fitness motto for this year: walk less, dance more. (And have much more fun in the process!)

* But while cardio is great for the body, I also intend to nourish my mind. And that's where yoga comes in. No, not the kind in which you push yourself into all kinds of contortions in overheated rooms in the hope of losing weight. But the kind that teaches you to breathe right, shows you how to relax your racing brain, helps your stress levels with the right meditation techniques and allows you to become more in tune with your body and mind. You know the kind that our forefathers used to practice, where you listen to your body and let it lead you instead of trying to beat it into submission. Yes, that's the kind of yoga I am going to immerse myself in this year.

* And then, with a bit of luck, I will be in the right frame of mind to embark on my final - and hopefully, most rewarding - adventure of the year. My own personal rediscovery of Hinduism and the philosophical constructs at the heart of my faith. Given the virulent strands of Hindutva that engulf our public life these days, I think it is more important that ever to do a refresher course in all that Hinduism actually stands for. Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam. The world is one family. That seems like a good place to start. 

Mid-life crisis?

No, it’s not that bad; but this may be the time to ring in some changes

There is something to be said about multiculturalism. For one thing, it allows me to celebrate New Year thrice every year. There’s the regular New Year on the 1^st of January, when I party along with the rest of the world. There’s the Baisakhi New Year in April that I get to enjoy because I was born into a Punjabi family. And now, there’s also Diwali, which is celebrated as New Year by Gujaratis, a community I belong to by marriage.

This Diwali, though, as I did my puja, praying to Ma Lakshmi for prosperity, I realized with a start that I have more New Years behind me than I have New Years to look forward to. Without even realizing it, I have tipped beyond the halfway point in my life. And from now on, I’m going to be counting down rather than adding up.

Yes, like Bill Clinton said so memorably at the Democratic National Convention, I too have more yesterdays than tomorrows.

But while I am not in the throes of a mid-life crisis quite yet (well, I think so; my friends and family may well disagree), I have come to the realization that time is not on my side. In fact, it is the enemy, racing past even as I struggle to play catch up.

So, from this year on, my motto is that immortal line that has stayed with me since my days as a student of English literature: ‘Carpe diem’. Seize the day. Make the most of every moment because it will be over before you know it.

As is my wont at such times, I began by making a list of all the things I should and should not do to get the most out of the days, weeks, months and New Years I have left. Here is a small sampling:

·       No more revisiting of favourite destinations. I’ve been there and done that. There is an entire world out there to explore. And I should do it while I can still explore – as in walk on my own two feet without the aid of a Zimmer frame. London and New York will still be there when I am old and decrepit. But I may not be able to do justice to the mountains of Switzerland and the beaches of Croatia when I need to stop and catch my breath every 10 minutes.

·       Sit right down on my desk and write that book. No more procrastinating. No more endless revision of chapters that I have written already. No more displacement activity masquerading as ‘research’. No more endless trawling of the Internet. No more excuses about lack of time or mind-space. It is time to sprint to the finish line. And when I’m done with the book I’m currently working on, it will be time to pick right up where I left off the novel I abandoned three quarters of the way through.

·       Prune that reading list. Reluctantly, I have come to the conclusion that I no longer have the time to waste on airport bestsellers and other junk reads. From now on, I will only invest time in authors whom I love and books that show potential. And no more feeling like a failure because I can’t finish a book – if that is a failing, then it is the author’s, not mine. (Also, if I intend to re-read the classics that I last studied in college – just to see if they speak differently to me – then I need to get on with it. Middlemarch awaits…)

·       No to endless socializing with people I don’t even particularly care for. No to large parties where no conversation is possible (mostly because you have nothing to say to fellow guests). Yes to small dinner parties with friends and prospective friends, where we can actually hear ourselves talk and listen to those speaking to us.

·       Declutter my life: not just of things that no longer bring me joy but also of people who only bring me down. A ruthless cull is in order, so that I can both simplify and sanitize my life. By the end, I hope to be left with a pared-down existence that allows me to appreciate what I have rather than bemoan what I don’t.

·       No more taking health and fitness for granted. From now on, sadly, it will be a slippery slope downhill. And the only way to make a controlled glide down is to invest time and energy in eating well and exercising right.

·       Ah no, you misunderstand. That doesn’t mean I am going to survive on salads and soups and turn away from dessert. Life is too short to eat rabbit food. Or to drink water rather than wine. But it will get shorter if I forget that magic word: moderation. So, I’m going to keep repeating it to myself in the hope that it sticks even when that pesky memory loss kicks in.

So, that is my magic formula for getting through the rest of my days. Read, write, travel, play. And yes, eat, drink and be merry…Well, you know how that one goes.

And a belated (or early) Happy New Year to you all, whichever one you choose to celebrate.

It's that time of the year again...

And instead of New Year Resolutions, here's my wish list for 2016

Last year, for my first column of 2015, I had gone all contrary on you and compiled a wish list instead of listing my New Year resolutions. Re-reading that piece, before I sat down to write this one, was a rather depressing experience though. My wish list, in retrospect, read like a triumph of hope over experience. And like a beach bully who demolishes sand castles almost as a matter of principle, 2015 had done a marvellous job of quashing all my hopes and desires.

I had hoped that every child who set out for school would come back caked in the mud of the playground rather than his own blood. That women would feel safe in public spaces, that they could walk the streets without being groped or harassed. That we would realise that Swachh Bharat was about more than mere optics (and photo-opps with broom in hand). That harmony would prevail among religions, and peace would reign on earth.

Of course,  not one of these things happened. Instead, we watched in horror as terror took over the streets of Paris, we wept as we saw refugees drowning off the beaches of Europe as they tried to reach a safe haven from war and mayhem, and we mourned the many lives lost to the marauding, murderous gang called Daesh.

Back home in India, the loonies continued to run amok. The rise of Hindu majoritarianism meant that anybody who raised a voice against growing intolerance was asked to go off to Pakistan. Such was the frenzy created around the issue of cow slaughter that baying mobs thought nothing of breaking into a man's home and beating him to death in front of his horrified family, simply because they thought he had beef in his fridge (it is another matter that it turned out to be mutton). And violence against women continued apace, with as many as six rapes and 14 molestations being reported every day in the city of Delhi alone.

So, I have learnt my lesson; and this time round, I am keeping my ambitions very limited, in the hope that this year's wish list has a better success rate than the last.

That said, what do I wish for 2016? Well, here's just a teeny-tiny sampler

* A woman in the White House: It is about time, wouldn't you say? It has been half a century since India had its first Prime Minister in Indira Gandhi and 37 years since Britain put Margaret Thatcher in 10 Downing Street. So it is time that the leading democracy of the world caught up and elected a female President. It helps that voting for Hillary Clinton is a no-brainer if (as looks increasingly likely) she is pitted against Donald Trump, the current front-runner in the Republican field. America surely deserves a President who promises results rather than one who simply delivers insults (and bizarrely finds bathroom breaks 'disgusting').

* More news, less noise: An entirely unscientific survey among my friends and colleagues shows that they are tiring of the current news television formula of prime-time programming, where anchors choose one issue to outrage about through the course of the day and then invite a phalanx of guests to 'debate' it. That is, if 'debate' means to shout at deafening sound levels at one another, even as the anchor ensures that nobody can complete an entire sentence, let alone a complete argument. My hope is that the rest of India will also begin to tire of this shouty format -- full of sound and fury, signifying nothing -- and vote with their remotes. Maybe then we can finally get some news -- rather than endless views -- from our news channels.

* A clean, green India: Actually, at this point, I am prepared to settle for a slightly cleaner, greener India. Even the smallest improvement in this area will leave me deliriously happy. Delhi has been the first to show some intent on this front. And no matter what your views on the odd-even formula that Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal is experimenting with (as of this writing, at least) during the first fortnight of the year, there is no denying that some sort of beginning has to be made before the air we breathe kills us all. Maybe 2016 will see more cities and states take similar initiatives; if not for our sake then for the sake of our children and grandchildren.

* Civility in our political discourse: Remember those innocent days when leaders across the political divide insisted that they were 'rivals' not 'enemies'. Well, they are only a fond memory now that the political discourse has been cheapened to the extent that political foes think nothing of spewing abuse at one another in public and on social media. I can't be alone in praying that better sense prevails in 2016, and a measure of decorum is restored to public life.

* On a more personal note, I fervently hope that I finally get the push to finish my book, that has been hanging fire for years now (don't ask), and see it on the stands -- and hopefully on your shelves -- before the end of 2016.

And on that note, a very Happy New Year to all!

Happy New Year!

Here’s my wish list for what I would like in 2015

Yes, I know, it is customary to make Christmas wishes and New Year resolutions. But this year, I am going to go all contrary on you and compile a wish list for New Year rather than yet another dreary set of resolutions (that are broken within a month of being made, anyway). So, if you would indulge me just this once, here’s what I would like for 2015.

• The certainty that every child who sets off to school in his or her freshly-laundered uniform, satchel carelessly slung on the shoulder, gets to come back home alive, disheveled and dirty, covered with the mud of the schoolyard – not doused in his or her own blood or indeed, the blood of classmates butchered before his or her shocked eyes.
• The guarantee that every religion gets a place in the sun in our great country. That everyone – Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Sikh, Buddhist, Jain, Parsi – is allowed to celebrate their festivals without the government muscling in to hijack their day for its own agenda. And that, in keeping with our secular ethos, we take the same pleasure and joy in celebrating each other’s festivals that we do in celebrating our own.
• That women finally get what has always been their right: safety in public places. That they can walk the streets without being jostled and jeered at. That they ride in buses, metros and trains without being groped. That they can drink in pubs without being leered at or propositioned. That they can take a taxi back home and fall asleep in the back seat, secure in the knowledge that they will not be molested, robbed or raped by the driver. (If you would like this too, then check out a movement called Why Loiter, and do your own bit to make our cities safer for women.)
• That the assorted Sadhus and Sadhvis who litter our political landscape realize that they can only use these honorifics if they actually undertake ‘sadhana’. And that is only possible if they renounce the material world and retreat to the realm of spirituality instead. (If that’s asking for too much, I would quite happily settle for some of them just going on a ‘maun vrat’ for the next five years or so.)
• That religious conversions – no matter which faith is being renounced or embraced – are recognized and respected for what they should be: a genuine change of heart that leads to a change of religion. And that assorted religious bodies – be they Hindu, Muslim or Christian – stop trying to shore up their numbers by resorting to bribes, inducements, money, special favours, or simply, brute force and blackmail.
• That we finally call a spade a bloody shovel. Anyone who kills innocents for a political cause is a terrorist, no matter what religion he takes his inspiration from. So, the men who terrorized the city of Mumbai on 26/11 are not ‘gunmen’; they are terrorists. The men who massacred 132 schoolchildren in Peshawar are not ‘Taliban’ (which, rather ironically, translates as students); they are terrorists. The Bodo group which went on a rampage in Assam and killed 78 people are not ‘militants’; they are terrorists. Let’s not mince our words when it comes to violence on innocents.
• The realization that we cannot achieve a clean India – a Swachch Bharat – by just posing with a broom in streets strewn with specially-procured dirt, while the TV cameras zoom in for a close-up. Sanitation and hygiene are incredibly complex issues. We need to discuss not just how to collect the dirt but also how to dispose of it in an environmentally-friendly manner. We need to focus on cleaning not just our cities but also our rivers. But most importantly, we need to work on changing the mindset of our people. Yes, those very people who think nothing of cleaning up their houses and throwing the rubbish on the street outside; those who spit whenever they feel like, wherever they feel like; or those who drive expensive cars but feel no embarrassment in throwing litter out of the window as they speed past.
• But most of all, what I really want for 2015, is peace and harmony. Peace between nations. Harmony between religions. Camaraderie between people no matter what their faith or nationality. And an end to the cycle of senseless violence that we have seen in 2014.

I know. It is a very tall order, indeed. And I know at a subliminal level, that I am doomed to disappointment in 12 months time. But how else do you enter a new year, except with a hope and a prayer? And the fervent desire that this time round, things will be much better.