Happy New Year

Here’s a list of my resolutions for the year 2022

 

Since this is my first column of 2022, allow me to wish all of you a very Happy New Year. I hope and pray that this year is better than the one that has gone by. That Omicron comes and goes like a bad dream, leaving us all immunized against the virus. And that this is the year when the Covid pandemic finally ends, with Corona becoming no more or less dangerous than the common cold.

 

So much for hopes and prayers! 

 

But the New Year is always about resolutions, and here, in no particular order of importance, are mine:

 

·       To give in to worthy impulses. If I feel the urge to re-connect with a long-lost friend, to phone a family member whom I haven’t spoken to in ages, to make a contribution to a charitable cause, I resolve to do so before the feeling passes. The lesson of the pandemic is that we should not put off anything that can be done today – because who knows what tomorrow may bring.

 

·       Build closer ties in my neighbourhood. If the sundry Covid lockdowns have taught us anything, it is that in times of crisis it is those around you who become your support structure. They are the ones who step in when you fall ill, who provide you with a ride when you are stranded, who send across a bowl of piping hot biryani simply because they want to share. This is the year when I will try my best to show them my appreciation any which way I can.

 

·       Pare down my ‘friends’ list. Covid bubbles have willy-nilly made us prioritize our ‘real’ friends over those we are merely friendly with. And after a couple of years of this, I am beginning to wonder is there is any point in expanding my social circle to pre-pandemic levels. It makes more sense to invest in a few meaningful friendships, rather than socializing with a larger group whom I don’t really care about. 

 

·       Get back in touch with nature. Ever since Corona entered our lives, vacations have been few and far between. And, for the most part, I have spent them in cities that are an easy driving distance from Delhi. Now, I think it is time to explore the great outdoors, whether it is a beachfront, a mountain resort, or a wildlife sanctuary. 

 

·       Brush up my languages. I signed up for French classes nearly 20 years ago, and for Italian classes around 15 years ago. Since then, I have forgotten much of the grammar that I learnt, but I did manage to keep my conversational French and Italian going by travelling to both these countries and forcing myself to speak in the local language rather than English. But it’s now been nearly three years since I travelled to either France or Italy and I fear that I have lost whatever language skills I once possessed. So, this year I am going to watch lots of French and Italian TV channels and try and get familiar with these languages again – in the hope that I will travel to these parts soon.

 

·       Read rather than watch. During the pandemic, there was nothing quite as comforting as settling down on the sofa in the evening, and binge-watching yet another series on a streaming service. It was bubble-gum for the eyes, which did not ask anything more of you than a willing suspension of disbelief. But I think it is now time to ration my screen time, and spend more evenings with my head stuck in a good book, conjuring up new worlds in my head with the power of the writer’s imagination.

 

·       Start work on my new book. With the sequel to Race Course Road, Madam Prime Minister, now out in the world, and in good bookstores all across the country, it is time to go back to the spy novel I was working on before I took a break to write my political thrillers. The plot is all fleshed out in my head. Now, it’s just a matter of getting it down on paper. Wish me luck!

 

Brand New Year...

…Means a brand new you – but just wait till February rolls around 

I think the biggest mistake that people make when it comes to New Year Resolutions is that they try to implement them the day the new year begins. New Year, New Me, goes the cry in households across the country as people pledge to inaugurate their brand-new selves. This usually involves a regimen of denial, given special impetus by the excesses they indulged in to celebrate the holiday season. 

It’s going to be a dry January, is the first declaration of intent. The second usually involves a diet fad of some kind: giving up carbs; intermittent fasting; going on a juice cleanse; or maybe just eating papaya for a month. Then comes the biggie: the promise to undertake a fitness regime that will leave them leaner, fitter, healthier, and much more flexible. This could entail anything from daily walks to taking up tennis to practicing Pilates to signing up for yoga.

So barely have they recovered from the mother of all hangovers on New Year’s Day than these deluded folks are trying to diet and exercise their guilt about gluttony away. Well guess what, it’s a venture doomed to failure.

The truth is that January is the worst month to initiate these kinds of lifestyle changes. For one thing your body and mind are busy trying to adjust to coming back to work full-time after some time off. So, it’s not a good idea to subject them to the extra effort that a new diet and exercise regimen entails. Far better to indulge in some comfort snacking and the odd glass of wine to come to terms with your new reality. 

This is when you need to wean yourself off gently from the bad habits of the last year. So use January to do just that, allowing your mind and body to ease into the new year with minimum trauma. Taper off the alcohol but don’t turn the tap off completely. Eat healthy as far as possible but allow yourself a slice of the leftover Christmas cake when the urge overcomes you. Cut down on calories gradually by all means, but don’t tip over into exclusionary-diet territory just yet.

That kind of punishing regimen is what February is for.

By the time the second month of the new year rolls around, the memories of those food and alcohol binges that marked your year-end celebrations will have faded somewhat. More crucially, the weather will also have warmed up a tad, so the thought of having another muffin with your cappuccino will not be quite so tempting. And as the stronger sunshine warms up your days, it will become easier to drag yourself out of bed to go jogging around the block or hitting the gym.

So, if you know what’s good for you, press the delay button on your New Year-New Me scheme until you’ve said goodbye to January. Then, when the first day of February dawns, you can get started on improving yourself. 

And here, to help you along, are just some of the things that you can do towards making yourself over in 2020:

• What you eat, how you eat, and when you eat, all of these things make a huge difference to how you feel. So, make this the year of mindful eating. That means focusing on what you are putting in your mouth at breakfast, lunch and dinner. And by that I don’t mean just eating smaller portions and healthier foods, though that is essential too. What I recommend is paying attention to your food while you eat it. Don’t scroll through newspapers when you are eating breakfast; don’t eat lunch at your desk at work while staring at your computer; and don’t have dinner staring at the telly. That kind of mindless eating always results in over-consumption of calories. Instead, sit down at the dining table to have all your meals, taste your food, appreciate it, and give thanks for it. You will end up eating less, and enjoying it a lot more.

• When it comes to exercise, don’t set yourself too ambitious a target. That way, you won’t feel disheartened when you fail to meet it. Instead, set yourself incremental goals, so that you can go from one level to another when you are good and ready. For instance, start by incorporating a ten-minute jog in your daily walk and then increase it as your fitness improves. If you can’t take an hour out at any one time during the day, break up your fitness routine into three 20-minute bits that you slot whenever you have the time. 


• But whatever you do, pay as much attention to your mind as you do to your body this year. Spend at least ten minutes first thing in the morning and last thing at night in silence, flushing your mind clear of all the detritus that clogs it. Rediscover the lost art of concentrating on one single thing, instead of being distracted by all the stuff unfolding around us. (That means no replying to emails when you are having dinner with the family; no scrolling through Twitter when you are reading a book; and most certainly no surfing the Internet when you are allegedly working.) 

And while you’re at it, be mindful of other people as well instead of just being focused on yourself. You will have a better and fuller life as a consequence. And that’s the best New Year gift you can give yourself.

It's a New Year

But it’s still the same old me – and you know what? That’s okay!

It is traditional, I know, to spend the first month of every year thinking of how you are going to spend the next 11 months. Most of us make what we fondly call New Year resolutions, even though we know – based on past experience – that they won’t even last for a few months. And more often that not, these ‘resolutions’ are all about transforming ourselves: becoming thinner; getting fitter, learning new skills, finding a new job, making more money, spending more time with the family, and so on and on and on.

There are very few people who enter the New Year feeling entirely happy about themselves and their lives. Nearly everyone thinks that they could have done better. And so, they swear that this is the year that they will be the best ever version of themselves.

I guess this is the bit where I break it to you that I am not really the one for resolutions, New Year or otherwise. In fact, the older I grow the more absurd I find this universal tendency to treat the 1^st of January as some sort of landmark, a red letter day if you will, which marks a new beginning. And one that we have to mark as some kind of turning point in our lives.

Well, frankly, it doesn’t feel like that to me any more – if it ever did. I am as happy as the next person to party on New Year’s Eve. Or, if I am lucky, take off for a quiet break with my husband during the Christmas/New Year holiday. But I certainly don’t feel like a new person when I wake up on the first day of the New Year. And I most certainly don’t feel the need to reinvent myself as a new person for the New Year.

In case I am coming off as a bit too pleased with myself, let me hasten to assure you that I do not think that I am so perfect that there is no room for improvement. On the contrary, there are so many ways in which I could be a better person that if I listed them all, I would have to carry this column over to the next page (and the Brunch editor, Jamal Shaikh, would never allow me to do that).

So, I’ll just list a few of my shortcomings, just so that you know that I am not a smug so-and-so.

First off, I could do with being a little more even-keeled. I don’t lose my temper very often, and when I do, I recover it rather quickly. But when I do lose my cool, I lose it quite spectacularly, and it’s not a pretty sight. There is a lot of foaming at the mouth, smoke spewing forth from my ears, and my decibel levels would put some of our North Korean anchors to shame. This storm doesn’t last long but while it does, it can seem life-threatening. So, that’s one area I could definitely improve on.

Then, there is my inability to forgive and forget. Yes, yes, I know all those clichés. Carrying a grudge against someone is allowing him/her to live rent-free in your head. You should forgive people – not because they deserve it, but because you do. But while at a rational level, I recognize the truth of this, I find it impossible to forgive those who have let me down or wronged me over the years. I guess I could try and fix this – or I could just forgive myself for being the brooding, vengeful person I am. I am still debating this one in my head.

But my most annoying (to me, at least) personality trait is my propensity to procrastinate. No matter what the task, I find a way to put it off to the last possible minute. When I was writing my book, Race Course Road, I had printed out a schedule for when I would finish every chapter, generously giving myself a couple of weeks to do that. But every day I would look at the calendar, feel a shiver go up my spine as the deadline grew nearer, and then settle down to do something else entirely. It was only when I had absolutely minimal time left did I get down to doing any work. (By the way, this column too is being written just hours before deadline!)

Could I change all this stuff about me? Perhaps. Should I work on being a better person? Maybe. Or should I just carry on being myself and to hell with the rest of the world? Well, that sounds like a plan.

But what does the New Year have to do with any of that? That’s just an arbitrary line in the sand, drawn by a world that is forever looking to celebrate ‘special’ days. Life doesn’t change – and nor do you – just because a New Year dawns.

If you want to change your life or yourself, you can do that any time you wish to. But if you are happy with your life and at peace with yourself, why let the New Year make you feel otherwise?

Happy New Year!

Instead of New Year resolutions, here's my to-do list for 2018

I decided a few years ago that I wasn't going to bother with New Year resolutions any longer. And I find that the decision has served me well. No longer do I psych myself to achieve goals that I inevitably give up on a few months into the year. And nor do I feel that crushing sense of failure when I can't live up to my own expectations. 

So that resolution stands: no more resolutions for the new year. 

This January, however, I have decided that I will mark the advent of 2018 by compiling a to-do list of all that I hope to achieve - or at least work towards - this year. It is a suitably idiosyncratic and wildly varying list, so it may not make the best sense for all of you. But for me, this is just the ticket to make sure that 2018 trumps 2017 by a good margin. 

So, here goes, in no particular order of importance: 

* A couple of bereavements over the last two years have taught me an important lesson: it is never a good idea to leave your stuff behind for other people to deal with. So, with that in mind, I have resolved that this is going to be the year of giving away. Books that I am never going to re-read. Clothes that haven't seen the light of day in 12 months. Costume jewellery that is now too young for me (shoes and bags, ditto). DVDs, knick-knacks, mementos from trips long-forgotten. It all goes. By the time next January rolls around, I hope to have decluttered completely. 

* Of course, all of the above would be useless if I kept on buying more stuff to take the place of what I have given away. So the next item on my to-do list is to buy less. No more shoe-shopping orgies in which I notch up a dozen shoes without even realizing what I am doing. No buying another winter coat when the ones I have in my closet barely get any wear. No more buying physical books unless they're the kind I will want to read again and again (for the rest, the Kindle is a good enough home). And for every single item I buy, I have to get rid of one thing I already possess. That should put a dose of discipline into the proceedings.  

* Talking of books, this is the year when I read more and tweet less (and spend less time on Internet generally). Even those who finish a book a day can only read around 25,000-odd books in their entire lifetime (give or take 70 years). And with every birthday, the number of books that I can realistically read before I depart for the great library in the sky gets less and less. So, it's time to hunker down and devour all the books I always meant to read - but never got around to starting. 

* The year 2017 will always be special to me because I finished my first novel, Race Course Road, in its closing months (it will be released in February this year). And I am hoping I can make 2018 count as well by going back to the manuscript I abandoned half-way to work on this book and getting that across the finish line as well. 

* For the past couple of years, I have been keeping my sugar levels under control by taking long walks when the weather and pollution permits or by joylessly toiling away on my cross-trainer with one eye trained on the television. But that was only until I discovered that I could notch up many more calories burnt and achieve a much higher heart rate if I slipping my earphones in and danced the hour away instead. So, that is going to be my fitness motto for this year: walk less, dance more. (And have much more fun in the process!)

* But while cardio is great for the body, I also intend to nourish my mind. And that's where yoga comes in. No, not the kind in which you push yourself into all kinds of contortions in overheated rooms in the hope of losing weight. But the kind that teaches you to breathe right, shows you how to relax your racing brain, helps your stress levels with the right meditation techniques and allows you to become more in tune with your body and mind. You know the kind that our forefathers used to practice, where you listen to your body and let it lead you instead of trying to beat it into submission. Yes, that's the kind of yoga I am going to immerse myself in this year.

* And then, with a bit of luck, I will be in the right frame of mind to embark on my final - and hopefully, most rewarding - adventure of the year. My own personal rediscovery of Hinduism and the philosophical constructs at the heart of my faith. Given the virulent strands of Hindutva that engulf our public life these days, I think it is more important that ever to do a refresher course in all that Hinduism actually stands for. Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam. The world is one family. That seems like a good place to start. 

It's that time of the year again...

And instead of New Year Resolutions, here's my wish list for 2016

Last year, for my first column of 2015, I had gone all contrary on you and compiled a wish list instead of listing my New Year resolutions. Re-reading that piece, before I sat down to write this one, was a rather depressing experience though. My wish list, in retrospect, read like a triumph of hope over experience. And like a beach bully who demolishes sand castles almost as a matter of principle, 2015 had done a marvellous job of quashing all my hopes and desires.

I had hoped that every child who set out for school would come back caked in the mud of the playground rather than his own blood. That women would feel safe in public spaces, that they could walk the streets without being groped or harassed. That we would realise that Swachh Bharat was about more than mere optics (and photo-opps with broom in hand). That harmony would prevail among religions, and peace would reign on earth.

Of course,  not one of these things happened. Instead, we watched in horror as terror took over the streets of Paris, we wept as we saw refugees drowning off the beaches of Europe as they tried to reach a safe haven from war and mayhem, and we mourned the many lives lost to the marauding, murderous gang called Daesh.

Back home in India, the loonies continued to run amok. The rise of Hindu majoritarianism meant that anybody who raised a voice against growing intolerance was asked to go off to Pakistan. Such was the frenzy created around the issue of cow slaughter that baying mobs thought nothing of breaking into a man's home and beating him to death in front of his horrified family, simply because they thought he had beef in his fridge (it is another matter that it turned out to be mutton). And violence against women continued apace, with as many as six rapes and 14 molestations being reported every day in the city of Delhi alone.

So, I have learnt my lesson; and this time round, I am keeping my ambitions very limited, in the hope that this year's wish list has a better success rate than the last.

That said, what do I wish for 2016? Well, here's just a teeny-tiny sampler

* A woman in the White House: It is about time, wouldn't you say? It has been half a century since India had its first Prime Minister in Indira Gandhi and 37 years since Britain put Margaret Thatcher in 10 Downing Street. So it is time that the leading democracy of the world caught up and elected a female President. It helps that voting for Hillary Clinton is a no-brainer if (as looks increasingly likely) she is pitted against Donald Trump, the current front-runner in the Republican field. America surely deserves a President who promises results rather than one who simply delivers insults (and bizarrely finds bathroom breaks 'disgusting').

* More news, less noise: An entirely unscientific survey among my friends and colleagues shows that they are tiring of the current news television formula of prime-time programming, where anchors choose one issue to outrage about through the course of the day and then invite a phalanx of guests to 'debate' it. That is, if 'debate' means to shout at deafening sound levels at one another, even as the anchor ensures that nobody can complete an entire sentence, let alone a complete argument. My hope is that the rest of India will also begin to tire of this shouty format -- full of sound and fury, signifying nothing -- and vote with their remotes. Maybe then we can finally get some news -- rather than endless views -- from our news channels.

* A clean, green India: Actually, at this point, I am prepared to settle for a slightly cleaner, greener India. Even the smallest improvement in this area will leave me deliriously happy. Delhi has been the first to show some intent on this front. And no matter what your views on the odd-even formula that Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal is experimenting with (as of this writing, at least) during the first fortnight of the year, there is no denying that some sort of beginning has to be made before the air we breathe kills us all. Maybe 2016 will see more cities and states take similar initiatives; if not for our sake then for the sake of our children and grandchildren.

* Civility in our political discourse: Remember those innocent days when leaders across the political divide insisted that they were 'rivals' not 'enemies'. Well, they are only a fond memory now that the political discourse has been cheapened to the extent that political foes think nothing of spewing abuse at one another in public and on social media. I can't be alone in praying that better sense prevails in 2016, and a measure of decorum is restored to public life.

* On a more personal note, I fervently hope that I finally get the push to finish my book, that has been hanging fire for years now (don't ask), and see it on the stands -- and hopefully on your shelves -- before the end of 2016.

And on that note, a very Happy New Year to all!

Happy New Year

In case you haven’t made your list of resolutions as yet; here, for easy reference, are some of mine

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time when we chalk up a long list of resolutions, all the stuff that we absolutely must (or must not) do in the spanking New Year that stretches out before us. Odds are the list will be abandoned by the time February rolls around, but for what it’s worth, here’s my own list of New Year resolutions, in no particular order of importance.

De-cluttering my life:

This starts from the very basics. The closets bursting with clothes that I will never wear (i.e. fit into) again. The shelves groaning under books that I barely got through the first time and will never re-read. The CDs I never listen to now that all the tracks have been downloaded on to my Ipod. The magazines that lie piled up in a corner (and are still untouched after several months). The shoes that have been retired from active duty now that my back (and increasingly, my knees) has given up on me. The solitary bottle of barbeque sauce that lies forlorn and ignored on the back shelf of my larder. The ficus plant that stubbornly refuses to flourish on my balcony. All junk must go.

Trimming my friend list:

Over the years, we all end up adding friends to our extended circle. There are those we bump into at parties; those we discover through the social media; those we meet in the new neighbourhood we move to; those we acquire by marriage; and those that acquire us. But as social research indicates, it is really not possible to keep up with more than a 100-odd people (especially if some of them are very odd indeed). So, maybe this is as good a time as any to get rid of all those who add nothing to my life; those who are unremittingly negative; those who take a particular pride in running everyone else down; and those who are legends in their own lunchtime. (FYI, if you need to ask, “Don’t you know I’m famous?’ you’re probably not.)

Making time for those who matter:

Once I’ve got rid of the flotsam and jetsam of my world, it will be that much easier to work on my next resolution: spending time with those people who really matter to me. Long conversations on Skype with old school friends I haven’t seen in years. Making time for a cousin who has flown into town for a couple of days. Touching base with extended family. Long, lazy lunches with my girl gang. Bonding over boozy dinners with my favourite Smug Marrieds. Ah well, you get the picture.

Swearing off all diets:

Yes, yes, I know you’ve got this absolutely fantabulous diet. And yes, I can see that you have oodles of weight on it. But you know what? I don’t want to hear about it. Yes, you got that right. I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. About. It. I don’t want to know how carbs mustn’t be mixed with proteins. I don’t want to be lectured about how I need to finish dinner by 7 pm at the latest. And I certainly have no interest in the glycemic index of various food items. So, be a dear, and shut up about your diet already. (Because, in any case, I can’t hear you above the siren call of that chocolate fondant.)

Rationing my time on the Internet:

Sadly, my search for a Net connection that automatically times out when it senses I am wasting time has come to naught. So, I guess I will have to do this the old-fashioned way: by exercising some self-control. That means not spending more than an hour on the Net every day, no matter how tempting the cyber trail that leads me away from the topic I type into the Google search box. And, of course, resisting the temptation to refresh my Twitter timeline every half hour.

Finishing my book:

If I can stick to the resolution listed above, this one will be so much easier to fulfil. If I could just check which Tube line went from Westbourne Grove to Camden Town; read an article on the Lashkar-e-Taiba network in Bradford; research the new Beretta models on the market; and get right back to my writing, I would have finished my first draft by now. Instead, I go flying off on a tangent, clicking link after link until I’ve clean forgotten what I was searching for. Well, no more procrastination, starting right now. It’s full steam ahead with the writing.

Staying positive:

I am tired of indulging the prophets of doom and gloom in the world. I no longer want to be told that a, b, c is impossible to achieve – well, at least not in our lifetime. I don’t need that kind of negative energy in my life. So, I am going to say nay to the naysayers. This year, as far as I am concerned, nothing is impossible. Or better still, my motto is going to be: The impossible? There’s nothing to it.