The rich list

Luxury is not the same as conspicuous consumption, no matter what the big brands tell you

Over the last six months, I have probably attended more 'Luxury Conferences' than I have had cooked breakfasts. And at each of these, no matter who the speakers or the attendees, the message seems to be the same. Luxury equals money. Actually make that big money. As in Big Money.

So, we have sundry examples thrown at us to illustrate the point. There is the iconic Hermes handbag with a waiting list as long as Jane Birkin's legs. There is the perfectly-cut yellow diamond with no visible inclusions, available exclusively from Graff. There is the private jet which comes with a jacuzzi and power shower, and a four-poster bed in the master bedroom (and if you don't like the fixtures you can always have them customised to your taste). And so on and on and on.

I watch goggle-eyed at all the high-value items projected on the big screen. But no matter how hard I try, I can't quiet the little voice inside my head that tells me that this is just conspicuous consumption. Luxury is an entirely different animal. And while it helps to have money to feed it, there is more to it than just filthy lucre. Or, at least, that's the way I see it.

So what, you ask, is my definition of luxury. Well, it it hard to pin down in a sentence or two, so I will do the next best thing. I'll give you a few examples of what qualifies as luxury in my book (and that's an actual hardback book not one of those Kindle editions).

* Being time-rich: There is nothing quite as luxurious than having all the time in the world to achieve what you want to. That feeling when your entire life lies before you like a blank slate, waiting for you to fill it with a wealth of experiences. Alas, like youth itself, this luxury is wasted on the young. But if you are still on the right side of 50, don't forget to luxuriate in this sense of being time-rich. And if your daily life is too fraught to allow you to do so, then rope off some vacation time, where you are not scheduled to within an inch of your life. Laze away the morning, have a leisurely afternoon, relax in the evening, read late into the night. Rinse and repeat.

*  Getting enough sleep: This is the one luxury that I simply cannot do without. Not because I am a spoilt so-and-so. But because if I don't clock up seven hours or more I am a complete wreck the next day. I can barely keep my eyes open, I can't think, and I most certainly cannot write. Sadly, we don't recognise sleep as a luxury until we run up a significant sleep-deficit. Ask any mother of kids below the age of one what she would rather have: a Kelly bag or a week of unbroken, eight-hour sleep, and you will discover just how much of a luxury sleep is. (Now, even more so, given that medical research has it that sleep deficit can lead to serious illnesses and even reduce mortality.)

* Room to breathe: Space is not just the final frontier; it is also the biggest luxury of all in our over-crowded cities and our increasingly tiny apartments. Just check with any teenager who fantasises about having her own room, where she can hang out with her friends, while a sign outside the door growls: "No entry for adults". Or the young, newly-married couple who have to live with their parents because they can't afford a home of their own. Or even the ageing parents who have to move in with their kids because they can't look after themselves. If they could have one thing in the world, they would ask for a space that was entirely their own.

* The freedom to make your own life choices: It's not just the big stuff like where to live, what to study, how to invest your money, whom to marry, where to work, that matters. It's also the small stuff like what to eat for breakfast (or to skip it entirely), what colour to paint the walls, where to go on holiday, what to watch on TV. The feeling of being empowered to do all (or most) of the above is what luxury is all about.

* The ability to say no: It may not seem like a big deal to those who have the freedom of choice, but it is nothing less than a luxury for those who don't. If you have to tow the line laid down by your boss, if you have to marry the man your parents chose for you, if you have to have sex whenever your partner desires it no matter how you feel, then the ability to say no seems like the best gift ever.

* Experiences rather than purchases: Given a choice between buying a piece of jewellery and going on holiday to a hitherto-unknown destination, I would always choose the experience over the purchase. Things don't add value to your life or, for that matter, bring you closer to your loved ones. But shared experiences do that every single time. And that, to my mind, is the biggest luxury of all.

It’s in the bag

Stop carrying your entire world around with you in that giant handbag – it’s time to downsize

It is one of those little-known ironies of the fashion world that Jane Birkin no longer carries a Birkin, the iconic Hermes bag specially designed for and named after her. Apparently, she got tendonitis from lugging around her oversized version and was forced to give it up – or so she said in an interview I read a year or so ago.

I have to say that I both know the feeling, and sympathise with it. Like most women, I have bought into the whole con that a Big Bag is a Good Idea because you can carry your whole world around with you. You will never run out of chewing gum, tepid water, sanitising hand-wash, wet wipes, or even nail polish remover for manicure-related crises. You will have an Ipod for when you need to kill time between meetings; a paperback for the commute; and plenty of chargers in case your phone or Blackberry battery packs up.

If you pick the right Big Bag you can bung in a pair of sneakers for when you hit the gym (or simply want to give your feet some respite from those killer heels). You can pile on the foundation and blusher when you go out after work. You can carry the odd bit of jewellery to dress up an outfit. And you can smell as fresh at the end of the day if you have a bottle of perfume tucked away.

As working women we are constantly being told that we should Always Be Prepared. And that every work or home-related emergency can be dealt with so long as our Big Bag is properly kitted out. Band-aids come in handy when the backs of your feet are hurting from new shoes or if the children gash their knees. A bag of nuts is mandatory to deal with in-between meal hunger pangs. An apple to snack on if you are dieting. And of course, a PDA device to make sure your appointments are in order and that you’re running on schedule.

So, naturally, all women of substance and style are required to tote a Big Bag that accommodates all their paraphernalia. And somehow it never occurs to us to ask how men manage to get through the entire day with just a thin briefcase – if that – at their disposal.

Big Bags are the call of the day; and one that we answer with alacrity. In fact, I can bet that nine out of 10 female readers of this article carry a nice Big Bag around all day.

I know that I do. A quick look inside confirms the following items: ticket stubs from the last six flights I took; ditto boarding cards; assorted bills; two strips of Alex lozenges for my allergic throat; six lipsticks covering the colour spectrum; five pens; a dog-eared copy of the latest John Le Carre; a virtual mountain of coins in every currency; a champagne cork (don’t ask!).

Now stop acting all superior for a second and examine the contents of your own bag. Just how much junk do you carry around? Umm, yes, I thought so. You are just as bad as I am.

But now that my back is beginning to protest at this load I’m constantly carrying around, I have decided to give up on Big Bags. And quite frankly, so should you.

In case you are still dithering, here are the top three reasons why you should ditch the Big Bag.

1) Carrying all that weight around is murder on your back. Pair that with high heels and dodgy knees and you have a scary medical scenario awaiting you.
2) Small bags make you more disciplined by forcing you to think about what you actually need through the day.
3) Big Bags encourage the man in your life to use you as a carrier service, dumping all his stuff – sunglasses, mobile phones, the odd small purchase – in your bag, because hey, you have plenty of room in there don’t you?

But if you are going to junk the Big Bag for a smaller version you first need to do some serious de-cluttering. And here, the golden rule is: if in doubt, throw it out.
• Draw up a list of all the things you absolutely need: throw everything else into a drawer, from where you can access them on a need-to basis.
• Be strict. You don’t need the entire contents of your make-up case. Just one lipstick, one powder compact and one eyeliner/kohl pencil will do. If you need to freshen up your foundation or concealer through the day, keep a back-up in your desk at work. If you must carry a perfume, make it a purse spray.
• Minimise your wallet. Keep the credit cards and a few hundred or five hundred rupee notes. Throw out the coins – you never use them and they add to the weight.
• If you must carry water, do it in a small bottle which you refill through the day.
• Get rid of the old plane tickets, bills, mouldy apples that you never got around to eating,
• Throw out the dozen pens littering the bottom of your bag.
• Junk the heavy notebook and start making notes and to-do lists on your phone or Blackberry.

And finally, chose a bag with minimum hardware on it – no fancy buckles, chains and charms that add to the weight. Believe me, your body will thank you for it every day to come.